Alternative Motivation: Succeeding in Business with Love

Humanity's base desire is for love, and the realization of this can lead to success, satisfaction, peace and fulfillment. Humans feel successful, satisfied and fulfilled when they feel that their lives have purpose and are at peace when they do not feel that needs are unmet. As the base need of humanity is for love, a level of peace is present when that need is met. Love is not the romantic fuzzy feeling many consider it to be, although we've attached that meaning to it. Unconditional love means acceptance without judgment. Like the methods of many motivational speakers and behavioral scientists that offer training and seminars to corporations, this is a topic that requires personal proof. When an individual or business can act from a point of unconditional acceptance, they can find success.

To gauge success, an individual must first decide how to define success. While some may feel that success is determined by financial gain, one can still feel empty or lonely while having immense wealth if they are not being accepted for their true selves. When one is able to contribute their unique talents in a way that serve others, they will attract people towards their services or products. This demonstrates self acceptance in realizing one's own value and acceptance for others by accepting their needs and the ability of the individual to fulfill them.

An important part of feeling accepted and realizing fulfillment relies on being able to contribute to a community. Being born makes us part of the largest community of all: humanity. When one feels that their unique talents are appreciated, useful, and valuable in addition to being accepted, they feel that they are an important part of something, resulting in a greater feeling of acceptance, achievement and success.

When a 19 year-old university student asked Albert Einstein about the purpose of life, he responded "We all feel that it is indeed very reasonable and important to ask ourselves how we should try to conduct our lives. The answer is, in my opinion: satisfaction of the desires and needs of all, as far as this can be achieved, and achievement of harmony and beauty in the human relationships." (A. Einstein, 1977. p 26-27)

It is obvious that acceptance and contribution to a community can lead to success when one looks at one of the largest businesses known: religion. In today's world, religion has become big business. Not only has it become big business, churches operate as businesses, complete with marketing plans and strategies. (Unknown, Religion as a Business) One might say that religion is in the business of acceptance. As people flock to churches or spend amazing amounts of time pouring over, quoting and sharing "sacred texts", it is apparent that people are seeking love and acceptance, many times by shaping their life into one they can accept. The key reason for many in joining churches is to find acceptance and a community that they can fit into. At the core of all major religion's belief systems is someone or something that provides forgiveness, unconditional love and acceptance, whether that be a separate supreme being, an array of spirits, the church's elders or the self.

If the purpose of a business is to fulfill a demand, and when the main service or product that churches provide is salvation, then it's apparent that love is in demand. Salvation means to be "saved" and the idea of salvation allows people to feel okay (or accepted) for being who they are. Until we are told or perceive that we are not okay, there is not a demand for this acceptance from an external source. Some churches witness or preach that we are not okay without the guidance they offer and this creates a demand. In other words, acceptance sells.

Religions are all based on the teachings of individuals, and those teachings were originally meant to help others understand the concepts of love, acceptance and the law of attraction. Jesus said "Love one another" and "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Ghandi said "Be the change you wish to see in the world". By going within to change one's self to allow acceptance, one can share that acceptance with others, encouraging them to accept themselves, creating a ripple that grows in intensity and can change the world.

Using the methods of acceptance and rejection to achieve desired results is not a new concept, but is not often observed when one thinks of finding success in the business world. Many people do not realize that acceptance plays a large part in one's ability to find success, beginning during early childhood. It is during childhood that an individual is taught to gain acceptance and approval from others in many areas. Throughout the history of humanity, parents, teachers and society have employed this knowledge as a method to shape or mold people.

Parents often shower a child with affection when they are behaving in an acceptable or pleasing manner, and shun them with discipline or by sending them to their rooms (away from others) when they have acted in a way the parent finds unacceptable. From honoring children at family events to disowning them, acceptance is widely used to achieve a result. This contributes greatly to the child's feelings of self worth, identity, and confidence. When a child is met with love, acceptance or approval, they are likely to repeat the behavior that garnered the positive attention. When they are met with rejection, they may or may not change their behavior, but may begin to pull away from the family all together, believing that they just "do not fit in". By not accepting their children for who they are, parents can encourage low self esteem. (K. Zolten & N. Long 1997)

One of the joys of parenting is having another individual with which to give and receive love. Owning pets has been compared to parenting and many people see their pets as "non judgmental friends". In a study conducted at University of Buffalo, Karen Allen reported that participants performed tasks better and faster in the presence of pets than spouses, which she attributes to the "complete positive regard" from their pets. (L. Baker, 2007).

Dog has long been known as "man's best friend" and it's no surprise. Pets are always there with a listening ear and offer no judgment or criticism towards their owner. "Animals are surrogates for children and appeal to our predisposition to nurture," says Sam Gosling, assistant professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. "We've even selectively bred dogs to make them more like children--to have big eyes and small noses, to be attuned to our emotions and to give unconditionallove." (C. Flora, 2006)

Whether we are seeking acceptance from pets, our parents or an employer, life can be seen as a constant journey to seek acceptance or love, and the constant search for this can be seen in an individual's decisions. People spend a great amount of time seeking to find where they fit in. Seeking for love does not stop when an individual "graduates" to adulthood. As adults, individuals continue to seek for love from peers, colleagues, mates and in social settings.

Politicians, advertising firms, churches, schools and social clubs also use acceptance as a way to achieve goals and draw people to them. Many of these entities utilize the ideas of "us and them" to promote their form of acceptance. According to many advertisements, to find the love and acceptance an individual is seeking, they need to purchase the advertised product or services. Political parties and social clubs also allow individuals to join together and feel as though they fit in with a group of like minded people.

The need to "fit in" continues in "Cyber world" as humanity is turning to the Internet, joining chat rooms, message boards and other online communities to find acceptance. U.S. Scholar Shalini Venturelli says that the emergence of online communities is due to a person's desires to find community. (M. Eubanks, 2006)

While some seek for acceptance from others in life or on line, others seek for acceptance from themselves. Seeking for acceptance from self should be a priority, as an individual will have a hard time being able to accept others and find complete acceptance without first having self acceptance. When a person can love themselves unconditionally, they will be able to love others unconditionally. If a person fears or rejects a side of themself or is overly critical of themselves, they will constantly be overly critical of those they come into contact with as they see the feared traits reflected.

If a person is living in search of acceptance from others, the person will not be able to enjoy happiness or success, because they will be constantly living to make others happy rather than themselves. When an individual accepts themselves, it leads to high self esteem, confidence and the ability to accept others. Accepting others unconditionally brings trust by giving other's a "safe place." (Dr. W. Matthews, 1993) Living in a way to seek acceptance from one's self means that an individual will constantly be seeking to live in a way that is acceptable to them rather than others. This means that an individual will need to treat themselves with unconditional love before they are able to follow a path that makes them happy. Many are unsure of how to do this.

One way of acting with unconditional love for oneself is to explore and act upon the things that make the individual happy. For a person to find fulfillment and truly love themselves, they would need to be in a state of existence in which they are seeking out and doing things they love. Anytime a person is repeatedly doing things they do not love, they will have internal conflict and exhibit less determination and drive for the activities at hand. Self acceptance is imperative for an individual to grow and develop. While it may be tempting to go to college for training in a field that pays extremely well, one may close off their opportunities for finding happiness and success.

When making personal and business life decisions, it is important to accept the way you feel about the decisions to be made. One should always accept the paths that will make them happy. Before one can follow this rule, they must first know what they want for themselves so they may determine what others want. It is hard for an individual to find what makes them happy if they are constantly judging themselves or what they have found. It is also hard to give others acceptance if one is constantly judging them. When one pushes past materialistic things and desires to know what makes them happy, they will find that love and acceptance are at the top of the list.

This leads the individual on a journey to realization that humanity's base desire is to love and be loved, and upon this realization, any individual can apply this knowledge to their personal and business practices. When one realizes that this makes them happy, they will realize that it also makes others happy. When they decide to give it to themselves, they will also be able to give it to others. In doing so, one can attract their desires, leading to a life of success, satisfaction, peace and fulfillment.

To understand how to attract one's desires, it may be helpful to look at the properties of energy. Science has proved that everything is made of energy. "Energy allows our bodies to grow and our minds to think." ( National Energy Education Development web site). Scientists who follow string theory believe that all matter is made of tiny vibrating strands of energy. (J. Cort & J. McMaster, 2003) A long standing principle of many spiritual practices, the "universal law of attraction" is based on emotion and its effects on an individual's vibrations. The law of attraction states that energy vibrating in a certain frequency will attract energy of the same frequency. For example, if an individual is coming from a vibration of unconditional love and acceptance, they will attract others towards them. The easiest way to describe the law of attraction is "like attracts like". This idea demonstrates the ideas of blessings for good behavior, karma and philosophies from many different religions. In the movie "The Secret", different motivational speakers and teachers come together to express that being in a state of positive emotion attracts the things you want into your life. In order to do this, you have to accept the things you want, and accept others who may be able to offer these things to you. (R. Byrne & G. Bell, 2005)

By being in a state of acceptance, one is in a receiving position. If everything is made of energy, then being open and accepting allows energy to flow towards the individual.

At birth, humans are in a state of receiving. We begin to accept what we perceive. Our perceptions and experiences become a part of who we are. The moment we are taught to reject something, we put up a door and are unable to receive it. It is like putting a filter over a white light. White light is no longer received by our optic senses. We can only perceive and accept the wavelength for a certain color that the filter allows through.

Isaac Newton's studies into energy and light inspired the poet Alexander Pope to write the epitaph "Nature and nature's laws lay hid in night; God said "Let Newton be" and all was light. Newton discovered that when white light was put through a prism, it was bent into an array of wavelengths to allow people to perceive different colors. (Wikipedia entry) When one learns to remove filters, they open the doors to receive all from what is presented to them, being able to further benefit from it. Once the motion of energy towards an individual is initiated by opening the doors of acceptance, it continues flowing towards the individual.

As evident in the popularity and success of messages from Jesus, Ghandi, Martin Luther King Jr. and other leaders who taught love and acceptance, unconditional love can make for a very effective marketing tool. Like children repeating behavior to obtain acceptance, customers will often return and become life long customers of companies that treat them in a way that make them feel accepted or special. Customers desire to be recognized for supporting a company and prefer customer service that makes them feel accepted. This is why the trend with reward cards has become so popular. Satisfied and happy employees can also result from being treated with acceptance and recognition.

President of Performance Development Corporation and the National Association for Self Esteem, Sharon Fountain agrees that humanity's base fears are rejection and abandonment so their base desire is for acceptance and a connection to a larger whole because humans are social creatures. She also says that in the business world, unconditional acceptance would be called "unconditional positive regard", and it is in the right of every individual to be treated with respect as a person. By demonstrating unconditional positive regard for others and having it for one's self, a company or individual invites others to be okay as they are and make their best contributions to what is trying to be accomplished. It frees an individual to have trust in a company or another individual and encourages them to be willing to share their truths and feedback. She also believes that a company with a customer service team that acts in a manner of servitude is more likely to have positive ratings in the public eye. (S. Fountain, personal communication, January 13, 2007) A company or individual can use this feedback from customers in a way that will benefit them.

Although it may seem complex, the practice of operating from unconditional love is a simple concept and can be easily conveyed with the "golden rule": "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". Upon understanding how to love unconditionally, life is no longer a mad chase after happiness that is always just out of reach. It becomes an enjoyable and pleasant experience that allows us to sit back and receive all that we once sought for as we revel in awe and joy, living every day following the desires of our hearts. When deciding how to obtain success, remember that the key product in demand is love. If one can remember this, success, satisfaction, peace and fulfillment can be found.

References

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