Altzheimers the Family Disease

Alzheimer's is one of the most devastating and strange illnesses for all involved. As a nurse I have worked in a nursing home , hospital and clinical setting. I have seen almost everything. A woman entering the nursing home able to walk and talk holding conversations to going into a nonverbal state within a short period of time. Swearing at us as we helped her. Her family devastated that she was doing this. There were times in the Home that we laughed with the patients and hugged them or cried with them as they struggled with the changes.

The mind is a very strange thing. The brain working in different areas producing different effects. Some of these people have the effects of Sundowners Syndrome which is later in the afternoon the confusion increases. They go back to the state of which they may have been accustomed to . Such as taking care of the children , making dinner and there is nothing that can be done to reason with them . I remember a man that every evening he would carry our lounge furniture out to the parking lot and we would have to go out and bring him in and the furniture and he would tell us that he was rounding up the cows for the night. So we would tell him that we got them all in and then he would come inside and get ready for bed knowing the cows were taken care of. Of course we were left to carry everything back in the building.

Some people in the early stages that live at home are able to mask the symptoms. Sometimes for a length of time. One reason for this is that they are in their own environment and set in a routine that they do daily. When some family members that do not visit often would not notice anything was wrong and a family member that was there quite often may notice things changing. Or possibly a friend or neighbor may call to let someone know that the person is wandering. They may start falling more often. May not be eating properly and you notice loss of weight. My not be taking care of themselves as they normally would.

When they go back in their mind to childhood we still should treat them as adults and with respect but it does not hurt them to hold a doll or stuffed animal. The way their brain is working we are not quite sure if they recognize us anymore. Sometimes they may say inappropriate things but they really wanted something else to come out . When they say "I don't know you", inside they could be say I do know you , you are my child I just can't say it anymore.

Family members that are caring for their parent may now become the parent. Or the other spouse may feel like they are taking care of a child. They need time away form this situation. Many communities provide elderly daycare now and that is wonderful for everyone involved. Talking to patient's spouses that have used daycare when they have gone back to pick them up they have noticed that they are happy to see them. And the rest of their day is less stressful.

At some point there may come a time for the patient to go to long term care facility. That is usually a very difficult decision for all involved. The main concern should be safety. Ask yourself is my spouse/parent safe here in this environment? Am I starting to feel burdened and resentful that I have to take care of them ? Is this ruining the rest of my family ,my children, my spouse and would my parent or spouse want that to happen?

I always wonder what is this patient thinking, their mind comes and goes , then in the early stages they know what they are going through and is this really scary for them? It certainly has to be it is for us. I know this first hand I have not only worked with this illness. My mother is dealing with this and she chose for herself to go to a nursing home. She did not want to burden any of her children or ruin their marriages. The Dr. and all the siblings decided that this was the time for her to go if she could make the decision. This is a hard transition for them but they do make it work.

Imagine that one day you need to leave your home and all your personal belongings and move into a small room that you are now sharing with another person that you do not know. You feel like you've just been abandoned by everyone involved although deep inside you know it is for the best.

I have met a lot of nurses that cannot work with a dementia /Alzheimer Pt's. and that is fine. We all have are calling mine is helping these patients to the best of my ability. To laugh with them not at them, love them , and to be there just to listen to whatever they may need.

I know with my mother I am in it for the duration. I LOVE YOU MOM.