Alzheimer's & Parkinson's: A Fate Worse Than Death, Part 2

St. Mary's Home for the Aged was the Nursing Home that the Doctors chose for my Mother. She arrived by ambulance on a beautiful June afternoon of 2004. Her first room was very small. We were able to get her small couch and chair in the room along with her TV and end table that the television sat. on. Her closets were built in along with dresser drawers. We had the task of labeling all of her clothing, so if they had to be washed by the nursing home they would know who the clothing belonged to. For the first 6 months my older family member and myself took turns washing and ironing Mom's clothing and returning it to her. Her room was so small, that all of us could not visit Mom with out being cramped. They said this room would just be temporary. The bathroom was right in her room with just a curtain around. This Mom definitely did not like. The youngest family member got Mom an erasable note board and markers for anyone to leave Mom a message. The nurses, and Mom's company would take turn leaving messages, and some even drew pictures. We brought some of her favorite items from home to make her feel more at home. At this time Mom was still able to walk with a walker, but definitely enjoyed a ride in the wheel chair that they had for her. This room she had for about 3 weeks.

At this time Mom became very ill, and had to be hospitalized. The doctors had no idea what was wrong with her. She at times would know who we are and other times she would just stare. We thought we were going to lose her one day because she had gotten very listless, but, she came around and they were able to send her back to St. Mary's Home. Upon arrival, they had a new room for Mom up on Tower Two which was the Alzheimer Unit. This room was large. She was able to have her couch, 2 chairs a couple of end tables, afghans, and many of her favorite possessions.

When would come to visit Mom, her curtains would be closed. It would be so dark in her room. She said people were watching her. So my older family member and myself went shopping for curtains and sheers to match Mom's furniture. She was so pleased when we put them up, we were able now to convince her that nobody could see her. With Mom back at the Nursing Home, she just was not the same. She was even less talkative, and would stop in mid sentence or just stare at times. As the days went by Mom grew more and more quiet. Conversations were very hard to get out of Mom, we were luck if we got 2 words at a time. This went on until October. Then one evening I went to visit Mom in the locked ward. This ward was for wanderers. Mom did not wander, but the Nurses felt she needed to be with people that were still active and that talked so she would be in there for meals and activities. Well upon this visit, I was chatting away, and all of a sudden Mom spoke up and starting asking questions, I was totally shocked. We had a wonderful visit for the first time in about 4 months. When it was time to leave I stopped by the nurses station, and commented about my Mother. They told me that they had started Mom on a new medication about 2 weeks ago. Needless to say they didn't bother telling us about the change in medication. With that over we started having more conversations, Mom even asked for her crocheting needles, as she wanted to do some crocheting. It was nice to see Mom being active again , she would even take a walk down the hall with us. The nurses also said she would surprise them once in awhile by walking all the way down to the Nurses station by herself. Mom started taking large print books out from the library and started reading again. We got her crossword puzzle books, and she was enjoying doing them again. We would either chat or watch a game show. Her favorite was Wheel Of Fortune, which she was very good at.

One evening out of the blue I got a phone call from the nurse on duty. Saying first of all Mom was OK, but she had been attacked by one of the ladies in the locked ward. This lady from what the nurses had said had been threatening to kill my mother. Well there are always suppose to be 1 or 2 nurses in the room at times. But, there wasn't at this time and the lady came up behind my mother and tried to strangle her with a belt. One of the nurses came in and stopped the lady and the lady attacked her, which left the nurse battered and bruised. They got my mother out of the unit and out to the Nurses station, and my mother told them she wanted to report the incident to the police. Which she did. The lady was taken by ambulance to the hospital to have her medication adjusted. I had been ill so I was unable to go up and check on my Mother, so I asked if I could speak to her on the phone. I talked to her and asked her if she was alright, she said she was fine, and that she reported to the police that the lady tried to break her neck. She said I will never go back in that room again. We were all able to convince her that the lady was no longer there that they were getting her help at the hospital. So Mom agreed to keep going to the locked unit. She also went bowling once a week and competed with a friend of hers, she played Bingo, and also went to Arts & Crafts, and a cooking class(my Mother was a great cook, find 2 of her recipes below). She enjoyed getting out of her room. Everything was peaceful for a couple of weeks when they brought the lady back to the locked unit. The lady was calm, and was not a problem but, mom refused to go back in the unit. She said she would not go back in there as long as that lady was there. Then it started that Mom would not leave her room except for meals in the Nursing Room Dining room. She would keep her door shut tight and was very Leary when anyone tried to talk her into taking a walk or to leave her room. She told the other family member that she couldn't sleep because she was scared. She also no longer was telling the Nurses when she was in pain, as Mom also had other health conditions.

So the family care planning meeting was coming up, and the other family member asked me to attend it for her. I went to this meeting, all they discussed was Mom's health. They did not even bring up the situation of my Mother being attacked. Well I did. I told them that this lady should not have been allowed to come back after she had attacked 2 people. Hurting one of them. They said well it wasn't her fault and her medication had been adjusted and she was fine now. I told them about my Mother being closed up in her room and that she wasn't sleeping because she was afraid and could not stop thinking about what that lady had done. Mom wanted out of the Nursing Home, she wanted to be in Assisted Living, she even was counting the Months on a tablet. I told the Head Nurse and the others that it was not fair that my Mother felt like she had to be locked in her room for her own safety. They made nothing of it, and needless to say, I was angry, and so were the other members of my family. But, there was nothing we could do, there was no opening in Assisted Living yet.

I got on the phone and contacted the lady that we were in contact with about the Assisted Living Home. She said she would see if there were any rooms coming available. She called me a couple of weeks later and told me that nothing was coming open right now but, possibly in 6 months. She told me I should keep in contact with her and let her know how things were going with my Mother. In the mean time. Mom would no longer go to activities, she said not as long as that lady was still there. We tried to tell her that she can't get out of the locked ward but, she had her mind made up, No, she was staying in her room where she was safe. So that is how it went for 8 months, until the older family member was diagnosed with Cancer. She then wanted to see if we could get Mom in Assisted Living soon. I got in contact with the lady that coordinates everything, we talked and I informed her of my sisters health situation. She said she had been checking to see if there was a room coming open soon, and still said it was about 6 months or more because on of the residents had gotten ill and was in the hospital for awhile and now was able to return to Assisted Living. In the mean time Mom got more and more paranoid about that lady getting out and coming after her. We made sure we went up to see Mom more than usually. But, it became difficult for my sister with treatments. We finally all got together as a family for Christmas Eve, we brought Mom down to the downstairs lobby of the Nursing Home, and had a get together with exchanges of presents and visiting with Mom. She seemed to have a really nice visit with us girls and her grand daughters and son-in-laws. We visited for a couple of hours and then I took Mom back to her room. I had put her Christmas Tree and decorations up earlier, so I turned the lights on on her tree, and she smiled and seemed to be content. I visited a bit longer until she said she was sleepy. We said Good-Night wished each other a Merry Christmas and I left so the Nurses could get Mom ready for bed. It had been a wonderful evening for all of us.

After the first of the year it was time to contact assisted living again, there still was no room available, but my contact said there were 2 or 3 that would be opening before the end of the year, and that we should be patient. She asked about my Mother, and sister, and how they both were doing. I told her, then we discussed a few other details, and she had suggested that my sister and myself come for a meeting to get paper work in order just in case a room would open. So we set up that appointment with her and met at the Assisted Living Home. There were papers to sign, discussions about Mom's doctor, and many details gone over of things we would purchase and what was included with Assisted Living. She assured us that she would let us know as soon as something was available. She also told me to keep in close contact with her to let me know how everyone was doing. I agreed, and we chatted at least once a month. All she could keep saying is be patient, we will get your Mom a room as soon as one is available. So now it was just a waiting game, waiting and hoping Mom's health would not worsen. That my sister would beat the Cancer and that a room would open sometime in the near future. Our waiting started once again.

Mom's Recipes (I would like people to remember them)

Mom's Hot Beef Roast/for sandwiches

Description:
This is a recipe received from my mother 36 years ago.

Ingredients:
3 lb. arm roast/or chuck roast
2 cans Campbell's cream of celery soup
1 small onion (diced) (I Mary use dried onion flakes)
2 8 oz glasses of water

This recipe can be doubled or multiplied for parties, graduations, weddings, etc. - you add more roasts and more soup, (water would be at 1/4 of you roasting pan)
Directions:
Put roast in roaster with 2 glasses of water, and onion or onion flake sprinkled over the top. Bake at 350 until 1/2 done. Take Roast out, let it cool some. Then Slice into then slices, remove all fat. Put slices back in Roaster along with the water it cooked in. Add 2 cans of cream of celery, mix, and bake at 200 degrees(stir several times) for the day until meat is tender and mixture is thick enough for sandwiches/or on buns. Can also just be served with mashed potatoes( you can speed up the process by cooking the beef roast at 350 until tender, then shred with fork, removing fat, then add cream of celery and meat back into the juice and then bake at 200 until thick. Stir often.

This is a wonderful recipe, a family favorite, you don't even know the cream of celery is in there.

Number Of Servings:Not sure, maybe 8-12 or more/depends on whether large or small batch

Preparation Time:prep time: less than 5 minutes cooking time a good 6 to hours

3 Generations of Homemade Chicken Noodle Soup

(Grandma, My Mom, and Me)

(My cousin told me that my Grandmother loved Paprika, and that is what Grandma Sprinkled on her soup),

1 stewing chicken ( I use a roasting chicken with a lot of meat on it-about 5 to 8 pounds- depends on how much chicken you like in your soup)
1 bag carrots (sliced thin or you can dice if you like)
6 individual stalks of celery (cut and diced fine)
1 small onion, diced fine
1 1/2 cups either rice, or pearl barley (which ever you prefer)
1 bag of wide egg noodles, or Kluski noodles egg noodles (they are like homemade)

Or make your own homemade egg noodles the day before and leave to dry)

(the amounts of carrots, celery and onion, will depend on the size of the kettle and the size of the chicken.)

Put chicken in Huge soup kettle - fill kettle more than 1/2 full. I usually put mine at 3/4 full, it boils down and I add more water later.

Cook until chicken is tender.
When chicken is tender, take it out of the kettle and let it cool.

While it is cooling add your celery, onion, and carrots to the juice.
(if I am in a hurry, I will add the onion, celery and carrots right when I put the chicken in, it makes the house smell so good.)
When chicken is cooled, pull the pieces of chicken off of the bones, and cut into small pieces (either use a knife, or a kitchen scissors)

Put back in with vegetables, along with rice or pearl barley (if you want you can use both, (about 3/4 cup of each)

Boil 1/2 to 3/4 bag of the noodles, until cooked, but not mushy. Drain and rinse and add to soup. Salt and Pepper to taste. Let simmer until dinner or supper time.

*Now my grandmother never put her chicken back in the soup. The soup was served, and the chicken was put on the plate next to your soup.
* Actually Grandma had bowls with a wide ridge. We also sprinkled nutmeg over the top of the soup. Great taste if you like nutmeg.

*There is a story with that:

Grandma use to make a huge batch of egg noodles, and she would let us cut them thin, when she wasn't looking we would swipe some noodles to munch on while cutting, she would scold us if she caught us, to find out years later, Grandma already had made a batch of noodles, these too were to be used for soup, but she knew we would munch on them).