Amber Frey was Never Scott Peterson's Mistress

This afternoon I read an Associated Content article where a section of the headline read "Amber Frey, Former Mistress of Murderer Scott Peterson". In the body of the article the writer refers to Frey as "the once mistress and lover".

I'll confess, I have a problem with the term "mistress" in this context. I'm not criticizing the author, per se, the mainstream media does this all the time. Yet, just because network and cable newscasters label a woman as "mistress" does not justify the use. It also makes me want to scream. Why? Because mistress in this context is an extremely sexist and negative term, and it is a label Amber Frey, or any woman who has consensual sex, does not deserve.

Mistress has several respectable meanings, such as the female head of the household. Yet, when used in the context of a lover, it historically takes on a negative connotation. Mistresses were longtime lovers of married men, who were typically kept by the man. The man would pay for his mistress's housing, buy her clothes, support her financially, as he would a wife, without the legal entanglements. Mistresses of this definition were not socially accepted members of polite society.

I don't believe Frey qualifies for the label mistress. Their relationship was not long term, and unless Peterson bought Frey a condo and paid for her expenses, in exchange for sexual favors, then Frey was never Peterson's mistress. If we want to be blunt, when a lover was once called a mistress, it was akin to calling her a whore.

In the Associated Content article the author refers to Frey as "mistress and lover", which is redundant, if the meaning was simply lover, and not something more salacious.

The term mistress, when applied to a lover, is a sensational term, and using it casts negativity on the women to which it is applied. A newscaster's job is to report the news, not to make moral judgments. Using an inflammatory descriptive term is a judgmental action.

As a woman, I find this usage extremely offensive. During the Peterson trial, every time I heard Frey referred to as Peterson's mistress, I felt as if they were throwing mud on the woman. Considering how Frey stood up to the plate, and helped convict this wife killer, she certainly did not deserve such treatment.

The only male equivalency I can find for mistress is boy-toy. So unless newscasters wish to begin using boy-toy as an adjective for any man having relations with a woman, perhaps it is time they retire the Victorian mistress, and leave it to the romance writer.