'American Idol 2011' Top 5 Results Recap: The Howling Has Stopped..

I don't think I'm the only one that did a bit of a happy dance when finally oh...FINALLY... we sent that howling ball of teeth known as Jacob, back to his spa in Compton. Now on to James Durbin... he must be next.

But man! We were scared for our lil' Heffalump Lauren last night, weren't we? She knew she was in the bottom and was heaving ugly crying all over the stage for 90% of the episode. If she would've been the one sent home, I think we would have seen our first Idol contestant dissolve into a pile of hair, eyelashes and goo right before our eyes.



Well, I guess we also figured out why Jennifer Lopez is really doing this show, eh? No better way to hold America hostage than to perform 4 minutes of your crappy song in hideous hammertime pants, then debut your equally awful new song. Well played, Jenny from the Block! Well played.



So now we have Haley the Cross Eyed Barbie Doll, Butt Scarf... Adam Lambert's Revenge, Scotty Too Hottie ( I REFUSE to call him 'The Body' like that creeper Seacrest does.) and our precious lil' Heffalump, Lauren. Next week the Gaga Lady is going to be their mentor, and it should be swell. We know Scotty's pretty much got this in the bag, right? I'm just hoping Butt Scarf goes home next week. He irks me almost as much as Jacob.



What did you think about last night's elimination? Did America get it right this week?



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