'American Idol 2011' Top 8 Recap

Song choice is everything on "American Idol," folks. Even though this week's theme was to sing a song from a movie, and nobody actually DID that, you still need to sing a decent song. Not pick the one that your mom always gets down to at weddings after a few cocktails and that people under 50 clap their hands over their ears and moan...you just can't and expect to stay around! This is common knowledge, people! When will they ever learn?!

Well, learn they didn't... and here we are. Another results show in the can for this here season 10 of Idol.

We had duets and group numbers tonight. Our favorite country heffalump, Lauren sang some country song with Scotty really well. It was boring and all I could focus on was the odd way Scotty holds the microphone and tilts his head to one side like he's singing to a Big Mac or something. So strange. But it wasn't awful, even if country music isn't my mug o' scotch, so to speak...

The performance of the season had to be Haley and Casey. Singing Moanin' doing their scat-cat jazz thing, they totally brought the house down. And for all the rumors that they're in lurrve or whatever, after seeing them sing that song? Yep. They're definitely doing it. It was so good, even the judges had to stop the show and say, "The hell? The hell did that COME from? Haley! Sing like THAT!"

Then it got totes awkward as Seacrest was all, "Oh man, that was really great, but MAN! Haley...to the stools of doom you go..." Aw shucks man, that would totally suck if you just gave the performance of the season and got sent home anyway. Right, Stefano?

But before we send Stefano over to the stools of doom, we have to address the atrocity and crime against humanity that was the leftover males singing the Sound of Silence/Bridge Over Troubled Water medley. That was so bad I can't even think straight remembering it. Flat, off key, four voices that just don't go together...blech.

Oh hey! Lookie there! It's Kelly Clarkson! DAYUM that dress she had on was tight and the side zipper was hanging on for dear life! But she came out and showed those hacks how it's done, and it was nice to remember the god ol' days of this show.

Yeah, I know. I forgot to talk about Carl Reiner. It was fine. Those children had no idea who the hell he was...but he was his usual funny self.

Ok, results. In the bottom we have our usual Haley and Stefano...Jennifer Lopez shaking with worry in her C3PO for Versace dress (what WAS that?) that Haley would be eliminated and it would be just Heffalump Lauren and the Dudes. Paul was sent to the bottom too, and then we knew. We all knew that Paul was outta there.

Didn't he look just a little too relieved at being voted off? "Naw dude, it's cool..." he told the world, and probably more than a little glad that he'll never have to sing the worst song ever, Old Time Rock n Roll, on national TV again.

And J.Lo...barely able to utter a whisper in her pretend sadness asked him to sing Maggie May, just one more time. One more time to remember him by...

He did. And in that moment, I realized that we just lost one of the last originals of the season. Jacob "Freaking Find A Drag Show" Lusk, Birthing Hips in Skinny Jeans, Adam Lambert's revenge himself, James Durbin, and Stefano "Future Disney Performer" Langone remain. Really out of all of them? Casey's the only original and that's kinda sad. Methinks this season ofIdol might just be doomed.

Well, at least Paul was a little fun. This lil' shindig will give his career a boost, and maybe he can market those Rose tuxedos in the end...

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