American Idol Finale: Adam Lambert Outsings Kris Allen, but Who Will Danny Gokey's Fans Choose?

Tonight's American Idol showdown pitted "dark horse" (more like "cute pony") Kris Allen against "sexy vampire" Adam Lambert in a three-round performance featuring: 1) contestant's favorite song from the season; 2) producer Simon Fuller's choice; and 3) the Idol "coronation song", co-written by Kara DioGuardi. I was happy to hear that an actual, fairly successful songwriter was going to do the Idol song this year and get us out of magic-rainbow-triumph-and-struggle-and-I-believe-inside-my-moment hell. Well, I was happy up until I actually heard the song.

I have been ill with some sort of chest cold (not swine-related, I dare say), so I am going to have to keep it short to avoid falling kershnoggetaflop into my keyboard. Randy Jackson is dressed as a bad acid flashback to the 70s, Kara DioGuardi is still fiercely proud of her armpits, Paula Abdul has apparently been dip-dyed in a vat of espresso, and Simon Cowell, bless him, is wearing an actual shirt-with a jacket!

Kris Allen won the coin toss, which hasn't been on live television since Ryan dropped the coin down a grate or something a couple or three seasons back, and of course he chose to go second (getting Adam back for being in the pimp spot all those times). We see videos of the boys as youngsters, and Adam screamed a lot and Kris was too shy to sing for his own parents, and clearly that led to what they are today.

The first round is "songs they liked". Adam revisits "Mad World", as I predicted, and to prove he reads my recaps, he dressed as a sexy vampire, with Angel's leather coat, moonlight, fog and everything. The song sounded even better to me this time. I believe the arrangement was changed a bit, and of course the stage setting was pretty awesome. The judges loved it, Simon thought it was a bit theatrical but loved the vocal. Kris performed Bill Withers's seminal " Ain't No Sunshine". In a very spare, pretty arrangement, he played the piano and sang small parts of the song a cappella. It was very soulful and got rave reviews from the judges. Asked to name a round winner, Simon gave it to Kris, but I think he benefited from having gone second. Adam was just as good. However, since Simon pulls back from the "theatricality" of Adam somewhat, he probably did like Kris's performance better.

The second round was "Fuller's choice", and for Adam, he picked everybody's favorite audition song, "A Change is Gonna Come" by Sam Cooke. Adam sang it very well, and he put some of the screaminess into it that I am pretty sure Sam Cooke would not have even contemplated, let alone tried. Initially, I wasn't sure the song should have been done like that, but then I decided if he'd done it straight, he would have been just another person singing that same song, and instead he made it his own. The judges loved it, so: well-played. Kris was given Marvin Gaye's "What's Going On", and I wasn't excited to hear it. I don't think that song is suited to Kris (Mr. Canary pointed out that Simon Fuller might have planned Kris's failure in this way). He didn't rearrange it to suit himself particularly well, and it was unimpressive. Simon gave the second round to Adam, running away. Actually, Simon said "1 million percent", so maybe he and Randy Jackson can take a remedial math class together.

The third song was a travesty and a crime against both singers, the audience, the viewers, three of the four judges and anyone who will ever have to hear this crap coming out of a transmission source, even in passing. The song is called "No Boundaries", which probably tells you all you need to know right there, but there are mountains in it, and, yes, hurricanes, too, and when Adam sings, he goes a little pitchy in a spot !or two, but my theory is that it's very hard to sing in tune while you are trying to keep from throwing up in your mouth. It's even harder for Kris, who sounds absolutely horrid. What a way to end the show!

So, Adam should win, but my theory is that Gokey voters may have been supporting their guy in part because they were voting against Adam, and so will throw their support to Kris, instead. Either way, both of these guys are SO getting deals. Adam is my favorite, but if he doesn't win, at least he won't have to do that gorgeous (and by "gorgeous", I mean "inducing gorge") song. I'm already in line for your CD, Glambert!