"American Idol" Ideas for a Hot Start to the Tenth Season Premiere in January

For the last few years I have faithfully chronicled the "American Idol" competition, usually beginning in earnest when the field is winnowed to the Final 24. This year, of all years, there will be huge changes, as all the judges except Randy Jackson left and "One and It's Done" was the mantra that critics of the flagging show chanted as Simon Cowell departed.

Since there will be no new shows to review until January (and I have written literally hundreds of recaps during the previous few years), given Simon Cowell's departure to start a new show, as well as those of the other judges from the original show (with the exception of Randy), I have some humorous suggestions for ways in which the "new" American Idol might instantly entice viewers:

1) Talk Jennifer Lopez into wearing that green Versace dress (also known as "the Jungle Dress") that she almost wore to the 2000 Grammys. Out came Ms. Lopez with co-presenter David Duchovny, navel (and almost everything else) showing, to present the first award of the evening. Whistles and catcalls were heard from the audience. Duchovny said, "This is the first time in 5 or 6 years that I'm sure nobody is looking at me." The duo presented the Grammy for Best R&B album to "Fan Mail" by TLC. (Hubba, hubba.)

2) Convince Steven Tyler of Aerosmith to do a little impromptu dancing onstage if the show is flagging. The last time Steven was onstage trying to help fill dead air (the sound system had failed), the 61-year-old did a little impromptu dance and fell from the stage at the Buffalo Chip in Sturgis, South Dakota, injuring his head, neck and shoulders. He was transported by helicopter to Rapid City Regional Hospital and he probably isn't any too eager to sing "Love in an Elevator," (the song that they were performing when the sound system failed), any time soon. As various posters on YouTube phrased it, "I don't want to miss a thing," and "DON'T walk this way."

3) If Jennifer Lopez won't wear the green Versace dress, talk Steven Tyler into wearing it. He has plenty of scarves that would cover up the areas that Ms. Lopez uncovered. He could probably do it justice.

4) Have Randy Jackson show home movies of his 2003 gastric bypass surgery, which helped him to lose 114 pounds. [It would be cruel to make him get on the scales now, so scrub that idea.]

5) Make all the contestants sing a song from an artist that Randy Jackson has backed on guitar. They'd have a lot of material to choose from, ranging from the ridiculous to the sublime. Among others Randy backed on guitar or produced were Carlos Santana, Jerry Garcia, Journey, the Divinyls ("I touch Myself," 1991), Mariah Carey, Whitney Houston, Celine Dion, Fergie, Whitesnake, Madonna, Bon Jovi, Stevie Nicks, George Michael, the Charlie Daniels Band, and Paula Abdul, just for openers. Surely there's a song by someone in that disparate group that contestants would enjoy performing?

6) In honor of Jennifer Lopez' twins (Emmie and Max), have each contestant select a "twin" contestant to perform a duet with during the competition. [Hey, it makes as much sense as some of the theme nights and the duets were big hits last year.]

Auditions this year, for Season 10, were held in Nashville, Milwaukee, New Orleans, East Rutherford, Austin, San Francisco and Los Angeles. Considering that both of last year's two finalists, Lee DeWyze (the winner) and Crystal Bowersox, came out of the Chicago auditions, it seems odd that the city was totally ignored this season.