American Idol Top 12 Boys 3/1/11

Okay, America, it's time for round 10 of "American Idol." The March 1, 2011 episode of "American Idol" had the top 12 boys singing to make it into the overall top 10.

First of all, let's remember that "American Idol" isn't really consistent on actually creating, well, American idols. Out of nine previous seasons, "American Idol" has given us megastars Kelly Clarkson and Carrie Underwood, well-knowns but not superstars Chris Daughtry, Clay Aiken, Jennifer Hudson, and Fantasia Barrino (some more famous for being infamous), and "wasn't such-and-such on 'American Idol' at some point" singers like Kellie Pickler and David Cook.

Every year, they promise that they have the best talent we've ever seen. We'll see if this season stacks up.

Fact 1: Ryan Seacrest will never be cool. Ever. He thinks he is, but he's not. He's not even on Carson Daly level, someone who was never actually cool, but everyone kind of thought he was because he hosted Total Request Live. To open the show, Ryan flaps his gums about nothing of importance, then shows us the new stage, which not only has audience seated around it, but also up above (and behind the performers) the actual stage.

All together now, "Oooooh! Aaaaah!" Hey, it beats the old-school top 12 performances, in a room somewhere with a 20 member audience singing to a backup track, so I guess we should be excited.

First up is Clint Jun Gamboa, singing "Superstitious." Quite bold of him to attack a Stevie Wonder song without completely overhauling the style, but he did provide a great, high energy start to the show. I'd say it was a decen mix of singing and ad libs, although, at times, was a bit heavy on the screaming. (Of course, heavy on the screaming means that Steven Tyler will think it is great, so maybe that was strategy on his part.) On the whole, a solid performance.

Second in line was Jovany Barreto, singing the Edwin McCain Adult Contemporary classic, "I'll Be." On the boring side, especially after following Clint's opener, but still solid. When he was performing, I was thinking that the Idol judges of old would have asked for more originality and making the song his own. Steven and Jennifer fawned all over Jovany, but Randy was true to form and said it sounded almost exactly like the original. The contestants should know, after nine seasons of this show, that the judges will LOVE you if you do something completely out of the ordinary with a well-known song. It's not a secret. Just go with it.

Next up is Jordan Dorsey, who tells us in his preview that he doesn't, "just want to sing. I want to be a legend." Well, Jordan, you probably shouldn't have picked "O.M.G." to get you to step two of being a legend. The problem with doing an Usher song is that it needs Usher's personality, and dancing. Preferably Usher's dancing. "O.M.G." SCREAMS for choreography, a hands-free headset microphone, and a crew of backup dancers. Not only did Jordan barely move, but he seemed to be superglued to three feet of stage. He could've at least moved around the STAGE, even if he isn't so good at moving the individual parts of his body. Between the wardrobe and the graphics on the fancy-schmancy stage screens, it looked like a "Kids, Incorporated" performance.

Then there is Tim Halperin, whose name has continued to immediately make me want to call him Jim Halpert. He sang a Rob Thomas number, and thank goodness he moved around the stage like he was comfortable performing for people, because the song on the whole wasn't all that memorable. It was definitely solid, but forgettable. File it under, "meh."

Then came the androgynous ginger-locked Brett Lowenstern, with "Light My Fire." He's just far enough "out there" that he's going to be fun to watch, but not so far that he's a nutjob. I wouldn't call him the best singer of the bunch, and the head shakes were too much for me (you have long hair, we get it), but it was a decent performance. I hope he sticks around just so the hairdressers on the show can mess with his hair the way they did with Sanjaya. That would totally be worth suffering through Ryan's stupidity.

Speaking of which, the longer this show is on, the more Ryan Seacrest seems to age exponentially. He's not coming across as their "buddy", even though he is trying SO HARD to do that. He's more like your weird, creepy uncle who lives in Grandma and Grandpa's basement and plays air guitar and thinks he's SO cool.

Newsflash Ryan: You are NOT cool.

Number six in line is James Durbin, singing Judas Priest. I'll be honest - I wouldn't know a Judas Priest song if it hit me over the head in cassette tape form. I'm firmly in the pop-rock audience. This guy just seems too much like an Adam Lambert knock-off to me. He got a standing ovation, but I'm not so sure he deserved it.

After the break, it's Robbie Rosen. Oh, Robbie. If you looked up "stereotypical nice Jewish boy" in the disctionary, his picture would be there. He's totally Paul Saviano's cooler younger brother, no? He sang a Sarah Maclachlan song, and I felt like I was at a Jersey wedding. On key, but sugary and bo-ring. He's not a power balladeer by any stretch. It wasn't wretched, but I wouldn't call it, "a beautiful thing," like Steven Tyler did. Love that Randy is the voice of reason on this one.

Following Robbie was Scotty McCreery, the new generation's George Strait. I am a fan of country music, but I definitely favor the more pop-y country, as opposed to the George Strait, Clint Black, John Michael Montgomery stuff. Scotty will definitely have his place in country music, and I'd bet that he'll have a mildly successful career a la Kellie Pickler, but I don't think he's got enough "pop" in him (compared to, say, Carrie Underwood) to give him mass appeal, or to succeed on "American Idol." He's a good singer, and I agree with Jennifer Lopez that he was born to sing country. But unfortunately, he won't win "American Idol", because he only has one flavor - old school country.

Stefano Langone was up next, singing "Just the Way You Are." The sound mixing guy must not like Stefano, because his microphone was not turned up enough. The band was overpowering him and made his voice sound very thin. Solid, but not a memorable performance. He'll get the pretty boy vote.

Paul McDonald followed him with "Wake Up Maggie," originally performed by Rod Stewart. The first inkling of someone on this show who is an artist, with a unique voice, comfortable on stage, can sing someone else's song well enough that you recognize the song, but it doesn't sound like a cheap knock-off. Paul is what this show is about. It will be interesting to see if he'll be able to keep America's interest from week to week, or if he's a one-flavor singer.

Number 11 was Jacob Lusk, singing, "A House Is Not A Home." I love Jacob's voice. I think he needs to be careful about overdoing the runs, and he did that well on this song. I'm probably biased, because this is one of my favorite songs. Jacob's lower register is beautiful, especially when he uses it appropriately. I think he's going to go far in this competition, once the mediocrity is shaken out.

Finally, Casey Abrams took the stage. I'm going to be honest, here. I don't get it. I could have down without all of the growling. If it was Halloween, and you were going to follow it up with "Monster Mash", maybe it would have made sense to me. He's definitely not my cup of tea, but the audience and the judges seemed to like it. I wouldn't say it was the best performance, but he's definitely got talent.

I only cast one vote per episode of "American Idol." I'm not one of those people that calls a jillion times. My vote this week went to Jacob Lusk.

Overall, I'd rather have watched "Glee." Hopefully the girls will be more exciting tomorrow.