'American Idol' Top 12 Catch Flu, Skewer Nirvana & Heart

Tonight's "American Idol" was bad, on many levels. We had contestants who were sick and tired, bad song choices, dubious producer arrangements, and some tone-deaf judging. Luckily there were a few kids in tune and some sweet parents and baby pictures; otherwise the night would have been a complete disaster.

The theme for the Top 12 was the "Songs from the year you were born," which always seems completely arbitrary and pointless. After all, it's not as if you remember the music from the year you were born, and most of the contestants seem to roll their eyes at the selections. It also makes the people at home (and the judges' panel, no doubt) feel 1000 years old as these dates from the 80s and *mid-90s* show up as birth dates. Ack.

Naima Adedapo: There are a lot of cool songs out there that we remember fondly, but when it actually gets down to singing them, some are tougher than they look. Naima chose 1984 Tina Turner hit "What's Love Got To Do With It?" and sang in some strange key I've never heard before. It's one of those songs that's more about the vibe than actual singing, and while Naima definitely has great energy and personality on stage, she just couldn't really pull this one off. Naima can sing, and there were moments when she hit it right, but it simply wasn't the best--to riff on another Turner tune.

Paul McDonald: One of the few useful things producer Jimmy Iovine said tonight was that Paul was made to sing his own tunes, not somebody else's. Pair that fact with the flu, and you get a very strained version of Elton John's "I Guess That's Why They Call It the Blues." Paul valiantly tried to back off the vocals and sing it light and raspy, but it was clear his vocal chords were straining. He made up for it by wearing even tighter pants than usual, which should keep his passionate fans dialing in votes. By the end of the song, Paul waved a dismissive hand at his own performance and shook his head ruefully--he knew it just wasn't there tonight.

Thia Megia: While making us feel ancient for being born in 1995, Thia actually seemed a lot more human in her pre-performance video than she has in awhile. She finally smiled and looked like the kid that she is, a kid who should be singing something young and sassy. Instead the producers told her to infuse Vanessa Williams "Colors of the Wind" with all the meaning of "what's going on in the world today." Thia did that by standing in a long gown and stiffly smiling her way through another pageanty performance. Surprisingly, she also didn't seem to have much power this week. So while her vocals were fine, they weren't anything special and the song just didn't suit her at all.

James Durbin: I confess, I was very big into 80s music, but on the Duran Duran, Hall & Oates, Eurythmics, Madonna and Cyndi Lauper side of things. This may be why I don't remember the 1989 Bon Jovi song "I'll Be There For You." James did have a bit of a cough during his pre-performance session with Ryan, so this may explain his slightly flat vocals--but more than anything, it just didn't seem like that great of a song. As usual, James worked the crowd like crazy, and while it no Paul McCartney tune, James still turned in one of the top performances of the night.

Haley Reinhart: Maybe it's my Chicago bias, but I keep wanting to give Haley another chance. After last week's stab at country landed her in the bottom three, Haley decided to see-saw back to R&B. So she grabbed 1990 Whitney Houston song "I'm Your Baby Tonight." Unfortunately she turned on the kittenish vibe too much at the start of the song, which is probably going to taint the performance in many voters' minds. When she got rolling into the rest of the song, however, she totally nailed the tricky staccato section and added some great growl to the chorus. The girl does have talent, and she's so much more interesting than the ballad/belter crowd, but she's got to learn to rein it in a bit with her schizophrenic approach to each song.

Stefano Langone: This 1989 baby made a sarcastic jab at the Milli Vanilli, Tone-Loc, NKOTB era of music, but hey--why not live a little and try to tackle one of these hit songs? Sure, MV is risky, but NKOTB is still touring, so obviously someone's still listening to their tunes. But no, it's "American Idol," so let's try another ballad. Zzzzzz. In Stefano's defense, however, his rendition of Simply Red's "If You Don't Know Me By Now" (which actually originated as a 70s tune by Harold Melvin & the Blue Notes) was the strongest vocal performance of the night, though I thought he pushed it a little too hard near the end. Not every song requires exploding your lungs and showing us your molars, you know? Still, Stefano had high energy, a sweet tone early on, and he deserves to be on the top of the heap this week.

Pia Toscano: It turns out Pia was a diva as a child, getting her dad to record her belting out "I Will Always Love You" with crazy intensity. Pia got saddled with one of the weirdest song arrangements of the night. Tackling 1988 Houston tune "Where Do Broken Hearts Go," Pia sang her usual, arm-outstretched belting ballad--but with some bizarre, snappy jazzy music going on in the background. It's like someone pressed one of those "disco music" buttons on an 80s Casio keyboard. Put that together with Pia's not-altogether-flattering white pantsuit and it just was kind of underwhelming.

Scotty McCreery: Once again we're all going to have "Baby lock them doors" stuck in an endless loop in our heads, as Scotty's adorable parents each took their turn singing that now infamous line--and they both sounded great. Scotty stayed in his country lane with 1993 Travis Tritt tune "Can I Trust You With My Heart." Scotty once again sounds great in that lower register, but he wobbled a bit on the higher notes until he belted out a nice one at the end of the song. I wish he could tone down the leaning, arched brow delivery, however, which is just too reminiscent of a smirky George W. Bush for my taste. When he's not singing he looks like a normal, cute teenager--he needs to channel that into his performance.

Karen Rodriguez: There were a lot of inexplicable aspects to Karen's performance this week. One was the strange combination of metallic space vixen dress, thigh-high boots, giant hoop earrings and hyper-sprayed Snooki poof. Another was Karen telling producer Jimmy Iovine that she didn't want to be known as just the "Spanish" singer, and then inserting a verse in Spanish into Taylor Dayne's 1989 hit "Love Will Lead You Back." I remember Karen as being cute and feisty and upbeat at the beginning of the "American Idol" competition; now she seems weighted down by all these big ballads that are actually way too big for her voice. The whole thing came off too weakly, and the outfit made it all a little absurd.

Casey Abrams: On the opposite end of the spectrum we had Casey, who decided to break new "American Idol" ground with Nirvana and "Smells Like Teen Spirit." I'm not a Nirvana fan, but I can appreciate the power of the song, and Casey's version was more of a caricature. He was out of tune at the start, and then added heaps more volume and shriek. Between the fluffy hair and beard and the hyper-animated body language, Casey came off like some sort of crazed Leprechaun. Kudos for making a brave song choice, but he's got to get back into performing music rather than relying on goofy schtick.

Lauren Alaina: After a largely dismal night, I was forced to confess that lil-miss-princess Lauren actually pulled off one of the top performances of the night. Perhaps the flu calmed her down, but she had a lot less crazy-eye on stage and her singing seemed more adult and controlled. With her leather jacket and boots, and just the perfect amount of twang on Melissa Etheridge's "Am I the Only One," it was the first time I could actually picture Lauren as a bona fide country singer. She still needs to get a little more relaxed and natural on stage, but I thought tonight was a definite improvement. While there were a few off notes, she definitely didn't seem as hampered by her illness as some of the other contestants.

Jacob Lusk: I knew it was going to be bad from the moment Jacob announced he was doing 1987 Heart tune "Alone." If you're going to do a woman's song, you've got to put some kind of a different spin on it, like Kris Allen's "She Works Hard for the Money." Instead, Jacob tried belting it out in a similar fashion, adding some kind of strange pogo-stick dance move, and then devolving into his screamy delivery for no particular reason. It was flat in the beginning, he pushed it too hard in the middle, and then finally he ended on these sweet light notes that showed he does still have a nice voice underneath all the insanity.

"American Idol" judge Jennifer managed to give some constructive criticism tonight, telling Thia to work on the tone of her vibrato and wisely suggesting that Karen avoid notes she can't hit and change them to something she can. Randy rightly pointed out pitch issues wherever he saw them, which was pretty much everywhere tonight, but the judges heaped wayyy too much praise on Pia and especially Jacob--who was an absolute, total mess.

Sadly, our favorite judge from the audition rounds, Steven Tyler, seems to have jumped onto the Ellen DeGeneres sinking ship of nonsense phrases like "You opened up a can of whoopdidoo." Initially I thought it was because being forced to rein in his colorful language had rendered him inert, but I noticed tonight that he seems to simply have no interest in country stars and balladeers. Now that we've gotten into the weary beaten-to-death soundtrack staples of "American Idol," Steven has lost his excitement for finding the "next Janis Joplin." He still sees a hint of that in Haley, which is when he perked up tonight, and the only guy he wakes up for is James Durbin.

"Don't get too poppy on me," Steven warned, and my first thought was opium, but then I realized he was worried about James straying too much into the pop side of pop/rock. Clever James said that it was too early to do an Aerosmith tune; that he was saving that for the finale. Steven then said if James saved it for the finale, he'd come up and sing with him. "You've got rich vein of inner crazy," he added, which is a compliment coming from Steven. James' entire backstage interview consisted of giddy, Steven-like rock screams. This was probably the most exciting thing that happened all night.

Thia and Stefano both hinted at the limited choices available to the "American Idol" contestants, and while I think sometimes they could be wiser--or push harder for songs not on the list--it is unfair that they often get blamed for song choice when what they're offered is so limited. The contestants also seem additionally hampered this year by the celebrity producers--they don't feel they can say no to someone with so much clout, and the judges won't typically bring up how awful some of these arrangements are. I think there's also a big difference between what sounds good on record and what that overpowering band does with the songs on performance night. Whatever the reasons, what had seemed like a positive move for the "American Idol" reboot for season 10 has turned out so far to be one of the flaws of the show.

In a night of lackluster to devastatingly bad performances, it's anybody's guess who will go home tomorrow, though I suspect it'll be all girls in the bottom 3 tomorrow again. Singers who probably will be, and who deserve to be, safe are Pia, James, Laura and Scotty. Stefano deserves a slot, but he's kind of a dark horse in this race, so we'll see what happens. I've got my fingers crossed for Haley, but her bottom 3 placement last week and her too-quirky start to the performance tonight will likely put her in the danger zone again.

How did your favorites do tonight? Who are you hoping will go home, and who do you think will *actually* go home?

Watch "American Idol" every Wednesday and Thursday at 8/7c. Check local listings to verify times.