'American Idol' Top 13: America Likes Interesting Men, Pretty & Bland Women

Knowing the inevitable disappointment that "American Idol" results night brings, I personally only had one surprise and one semi-shock of the night and they both involved Kendra Chantelle. Overall it's a pretty solid Top 13; even the annoyingly pimped people can at least carry a tune, so it's not as offensive that they're sitting pretty right now. It is fairly disturbing, though, that American voters tend to embrace even the quirkiest traits of male contestants, but when it comes to women, Bland Is Best.

The Top 5 Guys

Over a painfully stretched two hours, we got to torture 24 kids with inane questions and stalling tactics. Voters at home gave us Scotty McCreery, Jacob Lusk, Casey Abrams, Paul McDonald and James Durbin. This was exactly as I predicted and, based on the Top 24 performances, it was right that they moved forward. It's a nice array of musical styles, and we've only got one true "American Idol" style belter in Jacob Lusk. James proved on Top 24 night he's got rocker potential, Paul has a sort of country-Rod Stewart thing going on, Scotty is old school country, and Casey Abrams has a kind of jazz and bluesy vibe.

In the looks department, we left a lot of the boy-next-door types at the curb. There was even discussion about Casey proving to J-Lo through song that even guys who don't look like Brad Pitt can be sexy. Despite my continuing sadness at the ouster of cutie Colton Dixon, I'm happy to see the "American Idol" voters embracing variety.

The Top 5 Girls

Unfortunately, American doesn't feel the same about the girls. As much as they can look and sound alike, the better it is, apparently. "American Idol" viewer voters gave us Lauren Alaina, Haley Reinhart, Karen Rodriguez, Pia Toscano and Thia Megia. This is where the surprise came in, because I would have expected Kendra Chantelle rather than Haley Reinhart--but Reinhart did put on a bit of a sex kitten routine in her Top 24 performance, which could have sold any guys that decided to vote.

I enjoy Haley, but I had Kendra in my top 2, along with Naima Adedapo, who didn't even make it into the Top 5. I thought Naima might go either way--she might get votes for being unusual, or not get votes for being unusual. As it stood at this point, Haley and her potpourri of vocal stylings was going to be the "quirky one." I also felt bad for the awesome Lauren Turner, aka Bette Midler. The home audience may regret their decision after watching the horribly arty contestant videos, where Lauren responded to the prospect of being cut: "American, I know where you live, and I'm gonna cut you!" You tell 'em, Lauren!

The Wildcard Round

This is where the judges confused me. They decided to let 6 of the remaining contestants sing for a chance to get the wildcard vote. They chose Stefano Langone, Robbie Rosen and Jovany Barreto. I would have thought Tim Halperin would have had more of a chance to be contemporary than Jovany, but I suppose Jovany did perform better in the Top 24.

For the girls they chose Ashthon Jones, Kendra Chantelle and Naima Adedapo. Lauren Turner definitely deserved to sing over Ashthon, but they're just sold on trying to get a diva in there.

Ashthon sang "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going." It was much better than her Top 24 performance, but she still has way more attitude than vocal power. I want to like her more, but the vocals just aren't rich enough and often border on shrill.

Stefano sang "I Need You Now" by Smokie Norful. I have to say, it was an outstanding performance. Stefano had beautiful tone, sung with so much passion and heart. He went from big, perfectly held notes, to soft whispery tones. The camera zoomed in on James Durbin, who was totally feeling every note, and as he wound to a close, we saw Jennifer Lopez bouncing happily in her seat. The kid nailed it.

Kendra sang "Georgia on My Mind." She started out in what seemed almost too low of a key, but then she soared up into some outstanding vocals. She added a little growl and a lot of attitude, and just gave it a "what the hell let's just throw it all out there" burst of runs and big notes. I didn't love it as much as her spectacular Top 24 performance, but it still proved she's got some great pipes.

Jovany sang "Angel" by John Secada, and tried the Karen Rodriquez tactic of half-English and half-Spanish. It was a beautiful performance, probably his best, but you couldn't help feeling it was sort of old-fashioned. When J-Lo told him "you did all you could do," we knew he wasn't a frontrunner for the wildcard slot.

(Steven introduced Naima as "My own lil 'Porgy & Bess' all rolled into one." Lauren gave her a hug of "quirky girl" solidarity, which Lauren then passed on to Rachel. There will be no Bette Midlers or cute hats in this "American Idol.")

Naima sang "For All We Know." She was so emotional over having another chance to compete that she could barely get the first notes out, but then she composed herself and gave us her beautiful deep, rich vocals we love her for. It was a deeply felt performance, and after pouring out meaningful lyrics like "tomorrow may never come," she finally broke down at the finish of the song.

Robbie sang Elton John's "Sorry Seems To Be the Hardest Word." He started out a little breathy, but then he climbed up into a pretty vibrato and like Naima and Stefano, really seemed to be feeling every word. As he gave his heart to the song, the contestants all looked captivated, and at the end Lauren Alaina could be seen crying.

Now, the six contestants were waiting to find out their fate. This seemed to be a good time to stall with some commercials, some faux deliberations, and a J-Lo music video. I know it's all business, but it just seemed jarringly inappropriate to have blatant self-promotion by one of the judges while these kids are all standing there having their own personal internal meltdowns. It was awful to watch the camera pan down from the giant screen of glittery dance music diva-ry onto the stricken faces of the contestants waiting to find out the wildcard results. Too cruel.

The end result? I nearly had my own internal meltdown as Ashthon and Stefano were chosen, because it looked as though Naima would be going home. Thankfully, she was chosen, but Kendra absolutely should have won the slot over Ashthon--or Robbie should have gotten it. That was the only shock of the night for me, or perhaps I should say outrage. I had a sneaky feeling they were going to try to get Ashthon in there because of all the diva praise. Let's hope she gets back to where I liked her at the beginning of the competition and starts earning that diva status for more than sassy outfits and attitude.

To recap, the Top 13 are: Scotty McCreery, Pia Toscano, James Durbin, Lauren Alaina, Jacob Lusk, Thia Megia, Casey Abrams, Haley Reinhart, Paul McDonald, Karen Rodriguez, Stefano Langone, Naima Adedapo and Ashthon Jones.

The Hugs Are the Best Part

There were a few enjoyable moments in the agonizing stretch of banality and contestant torture. Jordan Dorsey redeemed his good character by warmly putting his arm around an obviously extremely distraught Clint Jun Gamboa while they awaited results--this genuine human kindness possibly saved Clint from having a nervous breakdown on stage before our very eyes.

Brett "The Hugger" Loewenstern took his dismissal from the show in stride, taking the last opportunity he had to hug every person on stage, and running down to hug the judges as well. I don't think the boy was quite ready vocally or in maturity for the Top 13, but I hope he keeps up singing and keeps up the positive attitude.

After Stefano was chosen as a wildcard, he got a bear hug from the much taller James Durbin, another heartfelt and adorable moment between the "Idol" roomies.

Moving forward, here's hoping the judges actually give some real critiques now that we've gotten the big purge out of the way. I don't think I can take months of: "You did it!" or "I love your shoes!" or possibly: "You sang, and we heard it!"

I'm also deducting several points from this episode for not giving the ousted contestants the proper send-off, particularly the final three who didn't win the wildcard--and were pretty much dismissed with a wave of Ryan's hand as the Top 13 filled the stage. I know they didn't want to run over time, but that was Not Classy. But that's "American Idol."

Watch "American Idol" every Wednesday and Thursday night on FOX at 8/7c.

Check out: The Top 12 Girls and The Top 12 Guys