Americans Take for Granted the Freedom to Name Their Babies Whatever They Want

A few months ago one of my co-workers came across the name Guinevere in her paperwork and made fun of how outdated the name is. I responded by saying that I quite liked the name Guinevere. In fact, I decided that when I have kids I'm going to name all of them after characters from King Arthur. My first child would be a girl named Guinevere, followed by a son named Arthur and last would be my baby daughter Merlyn. (Of course it's spelled with a "y" because spelling the girl version of Merlin with an "i" would just be silly).

When we think about the freedoms we have in this country we usually think about the freedom of speech, the freedom of religion, the freedom of downloading illegal music and movies-at least until there are laws that destroy the entire internet passed-and the freedom to stuff our face with fast food. One freedom that we take for granted is the freedom to name our children whatever we want.

The freedom to name our children? What are you talking about? Anyone can name their children whatever they want!

Not exactly. In the United States we can name our children whatever we want but in other countries you can actually have a suggested name for your child rejected. Let me give you a few examples of baby names that were rejected in other countries, the reason they were rejected and names that I wouldn't be able to use because of their reasoning.

Denmark
Rejected Name: Anus
Reason: In Denmark there is actually a list of suitable names to choose from (I guess Anus didn't make the cut). It is possible to get special permission to use a name that isn't on the list but it rarely happens. One of the most common rejections is to try and spell a traditional name differently so I guess Merlyn wouldn't fly there. Although one name that was approved was the name Molli even though the traditional spelling is Molly.

Germany
Rejected Name: Matti
Reason: It can not be deciphered whether the name is a boy or a girl. It's possible my dream of naming my third child Merlyn could be in jeopardy in Germany also. Most people would be able to tell if the name Merlyn is a boy or girl but they would guess a boy. On the other hand Legolas and Nemo were accepted so the Germans have no problem with fictional character names. So maybe my baby girl will have to settle for She-Ra instead.

New Zealand
Rejected Name: Adolf Hitler
Reason: In New Zealand you are not allowed to name your child anything that might cause offense to a reasonable person. So I can't name my kid Osama Bin Laden either? Go figure. New Zealand does have some of the stranger accepted names though like Midnight Chardonnay and Number 16 Bus Shelter. Personally I'm offended. One of my good friends died at the number 16 bus shelter. Hmph.

Sweden
Rejected name: Superman
Reason: The first name law in Sweden says that you can not give someone a name that will cause discomfort for using it. Personally I don't see the problem with Superman. Who wouldn't want to be Superman? Okay, silly question. We all know the Green Lantern is cooler.

Aren't you glad we live in America? We can name our children whatever we want. We can name our child Bob, Green Lantern, Merlyn, Anus or Adolf Hitler. Although I don't recommend one of those (because Bob is a stupid name).