America's Got Talent Features Interview of Susan Boyle by Meredith Vieira

After the final auditions wrapped up on the Wednesday, July 22 episode of America's Got Talent, the last 20 minutes of the show were dedicated to an exclusive interview of Susan Boyle by NBC Today show host Meredith Vieira. I was wondering why the Simon Cowell-Simon Fuller machine hadn't milked this yet, but I guess they were just saving it all up for now.

We open with Meredith in London, posed in front of the Tower Bridge to tell us that Susan Boyle's birthplace is "Scotland" (which is, the last time I checked, a country with a fair number of cities and towns; could we narrow it down no further?), which is the land, she says, of Braveheart, bagpipes and the Loch Ness monster. Well, this just about sums up America's ignorant pop-culture view of a country that already had a thousand years of history under its sporrin before this nation was even a twinkle in James Madison's eye.

Meredith Vieira recounts Susan Boyle's mishap at birth that caused mild brain damage and her horrible school years suffering merciless teasing, and I am sure Susan was likely unaware that all of this was going to be added, although it is handled fairly gently. We then see the immortal clip from Britain's Got Talent that launched this whole business, which leads us to the actual interview.

Meredith is sitting in a backstage-looking space stuffed with random musical equipment facing Susan Boyle, who is seated in front of a drum kit and an amp and looking lovely in a plum-colored suit. Meredith compliments her appearance and then obnoxiously asks if she's had "a slight makeover". "Yeah, just a slight one," Susan demurs, self-consciously ruffling her expensively-colored, cut and styled hair. She's also obviously had her brows groomed and makeup professionally applied, and it looks like she's lost a considerable amount of weight, maybe 30 pounds or so. Well, done, Susan! And also, Jeez, Meredith! It's obvious Susan's had a makeover; you don't have to force her to say so. Just tell her she looks great and leave it at that, you tactless thing.

We then jump from the interview (or is it an interrogation) to a further presentation of Susan Boyle's Britain's Got Talent debut, featuring drop-in commentary from Piers Morgan, who at least narrows Susan's home down to "a tiny village in Scotland" (the host of The Late Late Show, Craig Ferguson, is from nearby there and has said where it is, but I'm not going to; if you're a rabid fan, you already know; if you're not, you don't care). There is a weird, mirror-in-a-mirror effect caused by this interview showing a clip of the NBC Nightly News showing a clip of the Today show showing the clip from Britain's Got Talent while Brian Williams voice-overs. Far out, man!

Back in the interview area, Meredith Vieira, seated in front of a set of congas (I am not making this up, okay?) asks Susan Boyle about her "journey" from drab to fab to rehab, illustrated by various clips of this journey, from the eye-rolling (and subsequent standing ovation) at her début on Britain's Got Talent to her faltering start on "Memory" in the semi-finals and her loss to the dance group "Diversity" in the final to the nasty tabloid coverage and the days she spent at The Priory to recover from the whole crapvalanche. Susan handles the questions with soft-spoken grace and is very eloquent for someone we have been informed has brain damage (likely this just caused some sort of learning disability rather than actually effecting her intelligence).

Meredith whips out "the Susan Boyle doll", which looks nothing like Susan in either her previous incarnation or her current one, but Susan tries to make the best of it by singing a few bars of Stevie Wonder's "Isn't She Lovely". We hear that Susan is working on an album that Meredith characterizes as "not show tunes", and Susan treats the genre like a big secret, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess Adult Contemporary, especially considering they have already shown a clip of her singing in the recording studio.

As we break for commercials, I notice that this interview has a title-Susan Boyle: Daring to Dream. Good Lord, every time I think it can't get any cheesier...

Speaking of cheesy, we learn that Susan Boyle's girlhood idol was Donny Osmond, who graces us with his presence (kind of) in a video addressed to Susan, wherein he proclaims they will do a record together, apparently not having considered how much better a singer she is than he. "We'll remake 'Puppy Love'", Donnie threatens, before blatantly pimping his Vegas show, standing in front of his billboard on the Strip. Yeah, that's classy.

Far classier is British stage star Elaine Page, whose rendition of "Memory" inspired Susan to pick that song for her semi-final round of Britain's Got Talent. Elaine has been kind enough to appear in the actual flesh, emerging from behind all the equipment, and Susan is delighted to meet her idol, although too shy to be overly effusive. Elaine effuses on her behalf, sounding like a fan herself. She sweetly gives Susan a little kiss on the cheek for luck to end the interview, but then upon walking Susan out, Meredith manages to disperse the positive energy with her tone-deaf rendition of "I Dreamed a Dream". Argh!

We wrap up with more clips and more Piers, talking about dreams. I have a dream that we might one day see some television that doesn't pander to the lowest common denominator, but in the mean time, I will just wish the best of luck and success to Susan Boyle in her music career. Canary out!