America's Got Talent Final Auditions in Los Angeles

Tonight's America's Got Talent Auditions episode was largely a blur. Squeezing the final contestants into a half hour before an obsessively advertised Susan Boyle interview, the acts were presented in seconds-long blips. Judges Sharon Osbourne, David Hasselhoff, and Piers Morgan applauded their favorites and then hit the buzzers in rapid succession through waves of bad acts.

America's Got Talent Final Auditions: To Skate or Not to Skate

The first act on the America's Got Talent stage was a group of friends from Kokomo, Indiana named Breaksk8. These guys rolled onto stage on skates, and then proceeded to break dance in unison--all on wheels. It was phenomenal. Dancing in time is difficult enough, but to stay synchronized when you've got wheels on your feet? Even more impressive.

The only thing that happened was that the wheels actually seemed to slow them down. Their act was flawless, but seemed a little slow in comparison to other dance acts, no doubt because it's tougher to control your momentum when you're not on solid ground. America's Got Talent judge Piers Morgan voted no, telling them he thought they should ditch the skates and just stick to dancing.

The America's Got Talent audience gave them a standing ovation, however, and judges Sharon and David said yes to Breaksk8 for Vegas.

America's Got Talent Final Auditions: As Chelsea Handler would say, "What...a Whirlwind."

The next several America's Got Talent acts went by so fast I could only scrawl bits of information on my notepad before they moved on to the next. We had Mosaic, a self-described "vocal band" who did a wonderful a cappella performance with goosebump-producing harmonies.

The America's Got Talent stage then filled up with The Lollipop Girls, a cabaret act that David of course enthusiastically endorsed. They were followed by two cute emo boys called Recycled Percussion, who slammed out rhythms with drumsticks on found objects, apparently.

Jeffrey Ou pounded out his mad classical skillz on the electric piano and got an enthusiastic response from the America's Got Talent audience. Then we moved on to SQ entertainment, a family of acrobatic dancers that were actually at the America's Got Talent auditions last year.

There were more acts put through, including young men in a dance act who chest bumped so hard after their "yes" votes that one of the guys got knocked halfway across the stage. Now that's enthusiasm.

America's Got Talent also gave us a brief glimpse at singer Koshka, who belted out "You Make Me Feel Like (A Natural Woman)". The judges and audience loved her, and like the rest of these barely-seen acts, she's going to Vegas.

America's Got Talent Final Auditions: Little Hawaiian Songstress

Next up on the America's Got Talent stage was a little girl with a big talent. Ciana, an 8 year old from Honolulu, Hawaii, showed up in a pretty green party dress and said she tried to sing like Beyonce. Asked by Piers what she would do with a million dollars, she said she'd buy her parents and family a house.

When Ciana began to sing "At Last", the first thing I thought was that she was better than Beyonce. With deep, resonant notes sung with mature emotion, Ciana was like no 8 year old anyone has ever seen. The America's Got Talent judges and audience were blown away, and Piers told Ciana: "I think you should start looking for a new house."

America's Got Talent Final Auditions: Jo-Jo is a No-No (No)

Joseph James, a supposed choir director in LA, threw the America's Got Talent judges into shock. Dressed in what looked like Gospel robes, "Jo-Jo" announced he would be singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow". Then he began screeching out high-pitched notes that were so sharp they were almost in tune again. Stunned by the audience and judge's harsh response, Joseph told Piers that this was his "gift". It honestly didn't even seem real. How could a man be a choir director and not be able to hold a note?

America's Got Talent Final Auditions: A Blur of Bad Acts

America's Got Talent next breezed through more bad acts. There was Brian and Anthony, who did some strange banging on a piano, mixing their hands up and using a pencil for some keys. I'm not sure what was going on there.

Then we had Inara Darko, who belted out opera arias along with screeching guitar. She said she had a classically trained voice, and I believed her, but the music they were making was just too much cacophony and not enough harmony.

The rest of these America's Got Talent acts were a blur. There was a "comedy circus" with a guy in a bizarre spandex lizard outfit doing weird gymnastic lifts with the ring leader. And there was an older guy in a turban, "magically" sticking straws through a potato.

America's Got Talent Final Auditions: Flipping Incredible

The last act on America's Got Talent was the Beale Street Flippers, a group of young, well-built guys from Memphis, Tennessee. As "Billie Jean" played over the speakers, these guys danced, moonwalked, and did infinite strings of cartwheels and handsprings at high speeds across and around the stage. It was absolutely stunning, the physical strength and agility these guys had.

America's Got Talent judge David announced that they were the best flippers they'd ever had on the show. Piers was notably impressed, calling them "Flipping incredible" and voting with the "biggest flipping yes" that he could. All three judges said yes and it's on to Vegas for the Beale Street Flippers.

Check out: America's Got Talent Vegas Eliminations Day 1
America's Got Talent MySpace Auditions.

Tune in next week, Tuesday at 9/8c on NBC, for the start of the America's Got Talent competition in Las Vegas. Visit the official America's Got Talent website.