America's Most Smartest Model Showcases Bestest, Brightest of All Time (Not)

VH1's America's Most Smartest Model plans to quantify an ages-old problem for us, the American viewing public. Are models as smart as us? And, can they walk and talk at the same time?

In addition to doing that, VH1 will then flip the notion on its head like Danny Bonaduce did to Jonny Fairplay--but the teeth, they will remain--and the looks, they will be more aesthetically pleasing. But I guarantee you will be thoroughly entertained.

That's because the show is based on a concept, an idea not new to reality TV in which a house will be a home, albeit a temporary one--for a slew of fashion models looking for their next big break and aiming to destroy the myth that models are stupid.

The winner, er, the one able to shatter this myth, receives $100,000, the usual booby prize for a reality show contestant.

Hosted by Ivy League-educated Ben Stein, known for his highly popular game show "Win Ben Stein's Money" and the big screen as the milquetoast principal in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off," America's Most Smartest Model promises to be hilarious and it definitely lives up to that billing.

Featuring such heavyweights as Mandy Lynn, a buxom Playboy model you can also see if you stay up late enough at night to watch those ridiculous 1-900 phone chat commercials, AMSM has just about everything you would want in terms of entertainment.

It's a game show, since there are oodles of trivia challenges; a beauty contest, since there are things models would do, like walk a runway; and it is a comedy show, since you honestly can't believe these people think the way they do.

As a bonus, you get to meet Andre, a Russian raised in Romania who says he speaks five languages, and constantly writes checks his mouth can't cash. Things like "Have you seen my abs?" in a deep Russian drawl and with a straight face are commonplace when coming from his trap. And from the deep jowels of his being came this morsel of information, which I didn't know: "People would die to be us (models), bro!"

By the way, from listening to the guy I highly doubt that he speaks two languages, let alone five.

Back to the isuue at hand: can you walk and talk at the same time? Well, in the first episode the producers wasted little time in trying to tackle that age-old dilemma, too. Models walked a runway and recited from memory certain types of things in a category the producers selected.

The most memorable recitations turned out to be regurgitations since the models, namely Mandy Lynn, pushed the same four words through her bulbous silicone-injected lips as she strolled, those being cherries, bals, balloons and tires. Others recited four words as well, but none were as memorable. Coming awfully close to topping Mandy Lynn's wit, however, was Gaston from Argentina.

The young man apparently forgot he had class and upon being told he had to utter things that are smelly, he said "dirty penis" to the delight of everyone. Of course that was Gaston's last night in the house, but it was nonetheless one for the record books.

The contenders in the race to be the Most Smartest Model include Rachael, a mousy brunette from Down Under, Brett from Florida, better known for his abs than his brains and Jeff, who finished his college degree in just three years and seems thus far to be the frontrunner. Jesse from Chicago seems to be the dark horse, using intellect and resourcefulness at this point, along with a razor-sharp wit and a pot belly.