America's Next Top Jock: One Contestant's Story

Back on August 9, 2007, I heard the ad on my radio while driving back from another day of sweeping, mopping, scrubbing, and stocking the shelves of the convenience store at which I worked.

The announcer said "... So if you think you've got what it takes to be America's Next Top Jock; call Bo at (Number withheld by request) now! The deadline's August 10!"

"Wow!" was all I could think. I've always wanted to be a disc jockey. I've got all the mental deficiencies to act the part. And I'm certainly a very good looking man...on the radio.

So, I walked into my living room at 6 pm thinking that I was probably too late. All I got was an answering machine telling me to leave my name, phone number, and why I thought I had what it'd take to be an 'on-air personality.'

And that's just what I did. I left a message. As I hung up the phone, and even though I gave my little mini-audition the best smiley-voice I had, I figured I was probably way too late; but what the hay...I'd tried!

Over the next three days it never crossed my mind once. In fact, when the call came in from an unrecognized cellphone number, it seemed that it was probably going to be a wrong number. I began to prepare my mind to do my usual gag of answering with 'Yeah! Whazzup?"; then after the caller talks for about three minutes I tell them they have a wrong number (Yeah...I slay me too).

But no, not this time; it was Bo's friendly and familiar voice telling me that even though I came in just under the wire, I qualified as one of the entrants.

Now I'm gonna tell you that I've only been 'thrilled' a few times in my life, and most of those times was with the birth of each of my four kids, and this was definitely one of them! So, Bo confirmed what was going to happen as far as the time-line was concerned and when we'd meet for my real audition.

At the audition, they asked some of the usual questions you could expect from any type of job interview. But when they ask you 'Right now, off the top of your head, tell me a joke." It'll sure throw you off! The only thing I could think of was "How can you tell when a politician's lying? His lips are moving!" And when they ask you, with a straight face, "What do you offer the listeners of our radio station?"; I couldn't think of anything but: "Omigod! I was just thinking how to get all that gum off the floor!'

I even went back to Bo after the audition was over and asked him if we could re-do the joke part; because, after all, the best jokes always come to mind after the opportunity has passed...right?!

The look on his face told me everything. Even if I'd have been passable in the audition; I just blew it.

So when he called me a week later and told me that because of my personality, energy, sense of humor, and unadulterated gumption, I'd been selected from the thirty-odd entrants to be one of the ten contestants. If my house wasn't so small and full of breakable glass and if I wasn't so chubby I'd have done a back-flip! I wasn't thrilled this time though; I was JAZZED!

Universal-Life-Energy entered my body and surged through me as I went forth!

We had a meeting in the next few days. We all met each other and got to know each other a bit; and there was pizza. We also chose what time slots we wanted for our first rounds of co-hosting.

Then the first show arrived. It's a little nerve-wracking to 'put all your stuff out there' for 122,000+ listeners. Dj's have a harder job than most people realize. J.V., my co-host for the evening, was a great help with 'mixing the pot' (means running the soundboard and computer equipment) and guiding me through the evening. His experience handling the more difficult callers was priceless too.

It was a blast giving 'shout-outs' to my loved ones. But it was work too. you have to watch the intro timing closely for each song and preparation is KEY. One slip...one freeze-up...and you're just not cool anymore.

I didn't think I did that well. I sure didn't think I did as good as I should've.

And so you can imagine my surprize when they notified me that I actually made it to the Final Four! YeeHaa!

On the second show they were kind enough to give me a little constructive criticism and the entire Evening Show to me. The callers were relentless. I picked right back at them though. (Please don't get me wrong...the callers were FUN!) Most of them were supportive though. But even with the nicest and coolest of them it's just difficult at best to shake those butterflies. The Evening Show's also twice as long as the Top Nine at Nine. My pits were showing it too.

I finally relaxed when I imagined I was talking to someone on the street with everything that I said and it got immensely easier.

Anyway the hardest part's over. Now it's up to my listeners to vote on who they want to be their DJ by vote.

Do I smell American Idol drama coming?

By the time you read this, the contest will be over. This is no 'plug.' I just wanted to tell the world what a blast it was, how great Bo and J.V. are, and how you can never tell how far you'll get if you just try!