An Alternative to Couples Therapy

If you've been thinking about marriage counseling or couples therapy, try this before spending all your money on a therapist. Take a walk! My husband and I have found that we communicate better on walks. This leads to a better relationship for several days after walking!

Aside from the obvious physical benefits of walking, you'll find many mental benefits. With all of the distractions in our lives now, communicating with our spouses is harder than ever. Listening to your partner is an important part of a healthy relationship. Of course, he or she may not be as interesting as all of your friends on Facebook, or the newest hit TV show. This is one reason why taking a walk with your partner may be as effective as couples therapy.

As little as a half an hour a week spent walking could be just what the doctor ordered to save your marriage. Walking with your spouse can help you relearn how to talk, and can help you air your feelings without feeling like you are being ignored.

At first, couples may say some hurtful things, especially if you've had trouble talking for awhile. Rather than take offense at what your partner is saying, think about why they feel those things. Keeping an open mind will be as effective as going to marriage counseling.

When you go to marriage counseling, you are often given exercises designed to reopen channels of communication between you and your spouse. Some of these may include making a list of your favorite and least favorite things about your spouse. You don't need to go to marriage counseling to make these lists! Be sure that you balance the negatives with positives. I might say to my husband "I like the way you play with the kids, but I wish you would pick up a little more around the house. Maybe you could get the kids involved and make a game out of it?" This way, you air your grievances and provide a solution. Pointing out problems without providing a possible solution is a sure road to an argument or even a break up.

Why should you take a walk to talk to each other? Not only will you be able to listen better, walking is as good as marriage counseling because you are on neutral territory. Like siblings who have to share a room, unhappy couples tend to divide their space into his and hers. These boundaries make a reconciliation even more difficult!

Some spouses will be resistant to attending marriage counseling. Using this method as an alternative to couples therapy might be the only way to save your relationship in that case! You certainly don't have to let your husband or wife know that you consider it a form of couples therapy. Just take a walk and ask them if they have ideas for making your relationship better.

While walking, your body produces endorphins, a feel good hormone. The endorphins might help you relax enough to see your partner's point of view. If this alternative method to marriage counseling doesn't work, at least the endorphins will ease your headache from dealing with your troubles!