An Examination of Child Custody

The following is an "audition" article I wrote for a job I ended up not getting. As I look it over, it does not seem to be entirely useless (unlike all of my alter-ego's poetry), so I thought it may be worth a read, even if it turned out, at first, not to be worth a write.

The dissolution of a marriage is always unfortunate for the children who were born from it. To obviate the distress they will suffer, the matter of child custody needs to be determined as fairly and judiciously as possible.

Unless the mother has demonstrated wanton irresponsibility, she should remain the primary care-giver and, thus, should have primary custody of the children. Obviously, if the mother is an incorrigible substance-abuser or if she is mentally unstable, then another arrangement must be made, typically, but not always, awarding primary custody to the father.

But the matter of child custody is not as simple as awarding custody to the mother, if she is found to be a fit parent. The extent to which the father may have custodial or visitation rights needs to be taken into account. If the man is so unfit a parent that he is a danger to his children, then it would be appropriate to award him very limited visitation rights (i.e., always in the presence of a qualified adult witness) or in extreme cases, no right to contact the children at all. On the other hand, even if he is at fault; even if he cheated on his wife, it does not mean that he has stopped loving his children. He will probably suffer considerable financial consequences for his errant ways. There is no need to punish him further by denying him contact with his children. Why? Because you are punishing the children as well.

There is a saying that "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned," and a scorned wife, who has caught her mate cheating, may be sorely tempted to lie about her spouse's fitness as a parent. A false accusation of sexual abuse is a particularly devastating slander that, if believed, can and will curtail the husband's visitation rights. Of course a husband who is truly an abuser needs to be kept away from any opportunity to ever be alone with his children again. Suffice it to say, no such accusation ought to be believed at face-value. Some kind of supporting evidence-such as the allegedly-abused children's testimony-will have to be produced for the charge to have any measure of justice.

Also, it might seem sensible to ask the children what they want in the matter of their custody. That concept may work in some applications, but a judge will have to be very careful about considering their supposed wishes. It is entirely possible that one adult party or the other may have so poisoned the children's minds against the other spouse that they will not speak up for their best interests, which, in the absence of any big aggravating factor, are to stay in a loving relationship with both parents. A child may well not be mature enough to make such a decision in the face of hard pressure that one parent may be exerting to reject the other one.

It is because the question of child custody is so difficult and so delicate that it will take a judge to decide it. And, let us hope for the children's sake, a wise judge at that.