An Examination of the Ten Commandments for Wives Part 1

1. Learn the real meaning of love.

2 Give up your dreams of a "perfect marriage" and work toward a good marriage.

3. Discover your husband's personal, unique needs and try to meet them.

4. Abandon all dependency upon your parents and all criticism of his relatives.

5. Give praise and appreciation instead of seeking it.

6. Surrender possessiveness and jealousy.

7. Greet your husband with affection instead of complaints or demands.

8. Abandon all hope of changing your husband through criticism or attack.

9. Outgrow the Princess Syndrome.

10. Pray for patience.

After contemplating these suggestions for awhile I decided to write a series of articles further exploring each one. So, let's begin with love. What is love? Webster defines love as affection based on admiration or benevolence; an assurance of love; a warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion; an unselfish concern that freely accepts another in loyalty and seeks his good; the attraction based on sexual desire; the affection and tenderness felt by lovers; to hold dear: cherish; to feel a lover's passion, devotion, or tenderness for; or to thrive in.

According to the Bible, "Love is patient; love is kind. Love does not envy; is not boastful; is not conceited; does not act improperly; is not selfish; is not provoked; does not keep a record of wrongs; finds no joy in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) Author Ed Wheat writes romantic love "opens a lover's eyes to see their loved one the way God sees the person -- as extraordinary, priceless, like no one else ever created, as unique with an eternal identity." Still others define love as having "no qualifications" seeking not to gain, but only to give. Authors Robert and Rosemary Barnes see love as a choice. Love is not a feeling or even passion, love is an action I choose to take toward the person I am loving. "You aren't in love; you do love." (Robert & Rosemary Barnes)

So how do you define love? Love in this instance refers to the love between a couple. How does your spouse define love? How do you express your love? How does your spouse express his love? I believe love is a process. Love may begin in a variety of ways, but it develops into caring about the other person more than self. Love is making a choice to commit to stand by in times of hardship as well as times of plenty. Love depends upon the willingness to give forgiveness as well as ask for forgiveness. Love is cultivated, nurtured, guarded, and undeniably the greatest gift ever given or received.

My sincere wish is that you will use this article as a stepping stone in your search for the real meaning of love. Tune in to the next article as we explore giving up your dreams of the perfect marriage. God bless you.