An Inside Look into Children of Active Duty Military People

Many times, as an Active Duty Army wife, I have overheard civilians discuss military life. I am constantly amazed and awed by so many who know so little who have so much to say about things that they do not understand.

On most things, I just smile and shake my head. How can one explain something when there is no point of reference? It isn't worth the hassle or the conflict or the trouble. Where I do take a firm stand is on my husband and my children. Since my husband is more than capable of defending his own stance, I don't. However, when it comes to my children, like most all mothers, my protective nature comes out.

Army brats are a special breed of child. Military children are special blessings. They are the ones who come adapt to adapting. They are the ones who can changes schools like many change shoes.

They make friends easily, not only because they are friendly but because they haven't have a choice. If they didn't, they would be lonely. Sometimes, they are anyhow. They are forced to lose friends too. Sometimes, friends they have known since they were in kindergarten, sometimes friends they have only known a couple of months.

They mesh together with other military children very well, those who also share this bond. I mean, how many other kids do you know have friends all 50 states? How many other kids have lived in half of them? Many of them overseas and sometimes, they go overseas too.

They love email. They love phone lines. They love adventure. They don't love "goodbye"... They have learned that no matter how many times, no matter to which you say it to, it does not get any easier.

Sometimes, these "brats" get a bad rap. They will act up occasionally. Show out. They hurt. They ache. They feel lost. They feel scared, alone. On top of all the normal stresses of growing up, they get to do it in the adult world of the military bases...

Often times, many times, they see a parent sent to war or conflict for long periods of times, a year, sometimes longer, sometimes shorter... Sometimes, it is both parents... They rage when they see normal families. They do not understand why they have to "miss out", why they can't have their parent there when so-n-so`s Dad is always home at 5 pm... "Why can't mine be?"

Teenagers are the worst! Hormones and conflicting emotions...A constant internal tug of war on their hearts, wanting to be inside their parents arms and wanting to be the "head" during tours of duty or on the return of the service member. Missing out on so much that many take for granted like football games, fishing, soccer practice, family game nights, cheerleading, proms, and first dates.

Does this break the Army Brats? Negative. It makes them stronger. They learn resilience. They learn courage. They learn patience. Is this easy? Negative. Of course not! However, easy lessons are seldom good ones. Only hard lessons bring great reward.

Do these children cry when no one is looking? Yeah, they do... much like their parents. Only it's even lonelier because at least the parents have each other. If they are lucky, they have a sibling to share the ride of childhood with. Buddies in the trenches of the Brat life with!

From their parents they learn commitment and they learn faithfulness. They learn dedication. They light up when they see their Solider. They light up when they see their parents together. They understand what true love is.

Are they more special than "normal" children? Well, I guess it depends on whose mother you ask. Personally, I think that my children are the most special in the world, not despite that they are Army Brats but partly because of it. What greater gift could a parent give to her children?