An Interview with Chris Posti, Author of "Marriage on and Off the Rocks"

Christine Posti is the founder of Posti & Associates, Inc., a highly regarded executive coaching firm in Pittsburgh. Chris has a passion and desire to help people understand that they can only change their own behavior and not the behavior of others. This has led her in a more personal direction to write her first book, Marriage On And Off The Rocks. This thought provoking and soul searching book is reminiscent of the most popular and longest running column in magazine history, "Can This Marriage Be Saved?" in Ladies Home Journal. I recently had the pleasure of sitting down with Chris to learn more about her soon to be released book, Marriage On And Off The Rocks.

What was your inspiration to write this book?

CP: God woke me up at 3:00 AM one morning and I started writing. I was inspired to write this book for many reasons. I myself have been divorced. I lived on my own as a divorced parent for ten years, and during that time I facilitated a divorce support group. A few years ago, I remarried. I now have one daughter, five stepchildren and many step-grandchildren. My own personal experiences have given me a broader understanding of marriage, divorce and relationships.

What is the book about?

CP: This book contains 24 true stories of men and women who have been able to keep their marriages together or not. These real people have gone through all sorts of marital, divorce and remarriage situations. The book serves as a mirror to the reader to see whatever issues they are facing in their marriage or their life after divorce. There are questions that follow each story to allow the reader to gain insight into themselves through the story they just read. I like to think of this book as an alternative approach to the traditional self-help books because no one is going to "tell" them anything. Rather, my hope is that these true stories will serve as a mirror, showing the reader what he or she needs to do to have a successful marriage or a successful life after a divorce, whether or not they decide to remarry.

How long did it take to write the book?

CP: Five months. I conducted many interviews with men and woman, both old and young. The men and women who shared their stories are from different cultural, religious, lifestyle and financial backgrounds. Everyone that was interviewed wanted to tell their stories to help others learn from their mistakes.

What do you hope people will gain from this book?

CP: I would love it if people would write on my blog "my marriage was saved as a result of this book" or "I was able remarry with confidence and now have a successful marriage as result of this book." I'm hoping people will read the stories and find themselves and see their stories reflected in the mirror of other people's stories.

You mentioned your blog. Where can readers find your blog?

CP: Readers can find my blog on my website: www.marriageonandofftherocks.com.

I invite readers to join me in the blog discussions. Their input and contributions may be just the right words someone else needs to hear to help them turn their marriage around or to understand their spouse's behavior.

It seems there are so many marriages falling apart these days in full public view. Most recently, we are seeing the marriages Governor Sanford of South Carolina and Jon and Kate Gosselin unraveling in the news. Do you have any advice for these couples?

My advice to these couples and all couples whose marriages are in danger of failing is that the only behavior you can change is your own. In my profession, I help professionals to successfully modify their behavior to get results. In the business world, professionals often have an opportunity to work with a behavioral change coach. At home, people with problems don't have this support and most don't know how to change their behavior. More time is spent on blaming the other person and less time is spent on trying to understand and change his or her own behavior. I would ask them to ask themselves, "What is it about me that is causing my wife or husband to act in this way toward me?" There may be many problems and issues with the other person, but we can't change them. We can only adjust our expectations of them.

Marriage On And Off The Rocks will be released on August 1, 2009 and will be available for purchase on Amazon.com.