An Interview with the INTERN

If you ask Despair, Inc. their opinion on blogging, they would likely say "Never before have so many people with so little to say said so much to so few," as evidenced by their Demotivator poster. THE INTERN, however, begs to differ.

For those who don't know her, THE INTERN is the author of a hilarious blog (by the same name) on BlogSpot in which she details her days interning at an unnamed publishing house. Read it here: The Intern. In the beginning of what you might call her "About the Author" page, she describes herself as "the unpaid toiler on the publishing house floor, licking stamps, reading slush, and copy-editing your train-wreck of a manuscript (for free) because the real copyeditor [sic] is down with the genital crabs."

She has been kind enough to give more insight into herself, her work, and her opinions on various things for your reading pleasure. And by the way, she always refers to herself in the third person; this somehow makes everything she says that much more entertaining.

As most "professionals" know, no one stays an intern forever (unless they have some magical source of cash flow). So, is it possible THE INTERN might have to give herself a new moniker eventually?

"INTERN hasn't decided yet. She might keep on writing about publishing as INTERN (but with the obvious caveat that she won't be writing about daily life in a publishing house anymore) or she might start some kind of non-INTERN blog for readers who want to read about whatever else she gets up to."

Although her blog may seem cynical to a newcomer, basically she just tells everything like it is (especially with regard to writing). In terms of her outlook, she says, "INTERN does not consider herself cynical. She's a freaking idealist compared to many people who talk about publishing, and she really believes that good writing is still valued and rewarded. Perhaps on the whole publishing is a more cynical industry than most because margins are so tight and publishers are constantly having to dance between books that sell and books that Are Good (and hopefully publish Good Books that also Sell)."

Physically, she describes herself as wearing "mismatched socks, clunky glasses, the same shirt she wears every day and jeans she found in the dumpster." Is it an exaggeration? "All true," she replies.

On a sidebar, she lists "Blogs THE INTERN likes": "Pimp My Novel," "Editorial Ass," "Editorial Anonymous," and "Query Shark."

"Pimp My Novel," which even includes a parody of the Pimp My Ride logo, is written by Eric, who works in the sales department of a publishing house. Whereas THE INTERN works at the editing stage, Eric says "here you'll find out what happens to your book after it's been acquired."

The author of "Editorial Ass," who goes by the moniker "moonrat," describes herself as "a recovering editorial assistant...like most of my kind: impoverished coffee-and-gin survivalists, underpaid but ambitious, bitter but hopeful." Among the interests she lists are "Sushi, ice cream, hot chocolate, rice vermicelli...and risotto of any kind."

"Editorial Anonymous," written by a children's book editor, has some of the same tone as THE INTERN's blog, though each has a style all her own. And finally, "Query Shark" writes helpful (and highly entertaining) responses to query letters from author hopefuls.

After having read bits and pieces of each of these blogs, it's clear why THE INTERN finds them enjoyable.

Now, as Despair, Inc. points out, there are thousands of blogs out there, with Myspace, LiveJournal, BlogSpot, Blogger, Xanga, and a multitude of others, and a number of the authors have little or nothing to say. Nonetheless, bloggers like THE INTERN, who write skillfully and have a great sense of humor, naturally attract viewers. Is there some kind of secret to it?

"Nothing mysterious or unusual," she replies, "...friendly, smart, established publishing bloggers like Editorial Anonymous and Editorial Ass found INTERN's blog and started linking to her."

Over the course of this interview, it became apparent that some questions were too personal...nonetheless, INTERN occasionally tosses in blog entries about life outside of work. All other individuals are referred to by fun pseudonyms, such as "Techie Boyfriend" and "Nemesis Intern." Adding to the fun is the fact that she often paraphrases scenes of dialogue from her daily existence and incorporates them, as in Scenes from life of INTERN, published on August 10, 2009.

Among her interests, naturally, is reading; INTERN says she "tries to check out one book in as many different genres as possible each time she goes to the library. So one literary fiction, one chicklit, one memoir, etc."

Outside of the literary field, INTERN "likes to rock out on her Hohner Student 32 Melodica and play synth." Perhaps she'll give her readers the pleasure of hearing her music at some point.

For the curious who wonder how many words per minute she can type, "INTERN has no idea!" Good to know.

As far as what makes an entertaining blog, THE INTERN feels that "{a} damn good blog is useful and intelligent, respects the reader's intelligence, and has a purpose or at least a joy to it. Bonus if it's also funny." Some bloggers might wish to fling this definition in the face of the Demotivator company (unless they're able to take a joke). As evidenced by the responses to a number of her blog posts, THE INTERN's blog fills all of the above qualifications.

Mistakenly, THE INTERN's interviewer (meaning me) had thought she was in the process of writing a novel. Rather, "INTERN has published fiction in literary journals, and one rather embarrassing novella." Perhaps this is from where the confusion arose. "INTERN is anonymous so she won't tell you titles. But it's a good bet you've never read any fiction by INTERN. She has also published erotica, under a pseudonym."

She declares that she will be publishing a work of non-fiction in the spring of 2010, "for which the cover has already been designed. And the cover is hawt [sic]. (but INTERN is not going to tell you anything else about it.)"

Luckily for those authors whose work has yet to get into THE INTERN's hands, she feels that most of it is not worthless, and "Almost everything that comes in has some good in it."

For any authors-to-be possibly reading this interview, INTERN leaves off with some words of advice: "Don't be afraid to abandon a particular genre or style if it's not working out for you. Lots of people who would make great journalists beat themselves over the head for years trying to write novels, and people who would make great romance writers beat themselves over the head trying to write narrative nonfiction. If you're not good at one thing, try something else. There's no shame in it."

There you have it, straight from THE INTERN's mouth. Be sure to check out her blog on BlogSpot, as well as "Pimp My Novel," "Editorial Ass," "Editorial Anonymous," and "Query Shark." At some point, you'll have to laugh your editorial ass off.