An Interview with a Police Officer

"Mom, where are my Lululemon pants?" cries a desperate teen girl. "Help me with my essay on bubblegum, Mommy," a nine-year-old whines. This is not the typical scene you would imagine the detective in charge of a homicide squad to find herself in. But for Constable Pauline Gray, 21-year veteran of the Toronto Police Services and mother of two girls, its just life. Pauline says that having children is the best way to balance her demanding career with her home life. Her kids help to give her perspective - to get back to normal. After a 50-hour shift with no rest, Pauline just wants to fall asleep in a dark room when she gets home, before she has to do it all over again.

"But I always think that maybe I should just find the pants in the laundry and help finish the damn bubblegum essay!" Pauline says. And this is the exact mentality that has helped her reach such success in her career by achieving a balance in her life. For a five-foot-nothing woman, Pauline's personality demands a lot of presence when she enters a room. It's a good thing the height requirements were dropped, allowing her to join the police service after catching "a bit of the buzz" from her RCMP-officer sister. Pauline began undercover work early in her career, which she says was good because she "looks like a smurf in uniform." Aside from that benefit, it also worked to her advantage by steering her career into interrogation, which she discovered was one of her fortés.

"I can watch people and notice things about them that others don't," Pauline says. Her intuition proved to be useful as more than just an interviewing skill. She has found that parenting is another aspect of her life where this gift comes into play. "My kids can't lie to me," Pauline says with a proud smile, looking every bit the part of super mom. Apparently her 15-year-old daughter gets covered in hives when she doesn't tell her mom the truth. You can't help imagining Pauline having the same effect on a suspect in an interrogation room.

Pauline admits to being very strict with her two girls, saying her career experience definitely influences her parenting decisions. This is Pauline's sixth year heading Toronto's homicide squad, and her knowledge of drugs and gang-related violence in the city helps her determine which areas are safe for her children. "I allow them to make mistakes in environments that I know are safe," Pauline says. She allows her kids to go eat lunch by themselves on Queen St, but would never let them play alone at the park unless there were other people around. Her rationale for parenting definitely falls in line with a common-sense law enforcement mentality. And as they grow into young women, Pauline will always tell her children to follow their intuition.

As a woman in charge of a homicide squad made up of a lot of men, Pauline surprisingly says that she faces little adversity. Her secret must be in her dedication to her career. After working in gambling, domestic violence, and major drug squads, and now the homicide squad, Pauline realizes the importance of keeping fit to maintain her stamina. Although she has noticed that some officers neglect their fitness, Pauline always manages to stick to her rigorous workout routine. "Shift work is incredibly hard on the system," Pauline says, "and I don't want to be a liability." With that level of commitment, it's no wonder the officers on her homicide squad, both men and women, respect her and recognize her abilities. She does confess that as a woman in this career, "the pressure is on to do well." However, Pauline strikes you as the kind of person who works well under pressure.

Although her daughters show no interest in following in mommy's footsteps, law enforcement does seem to be a trend in Pauline's family. Her husband is a Peel Police officer, but when asked if she ever worries about him when he's on the job, her response is nonchalant, to say the least. "My husband is senior management," Pauline says, which means he now works in an office. "So he might die of a paper cut," she jokes. It is refreshing to see that she manages to remain a positive and cheerful person, despite the horrifying crime scenes she witnesses. And the ability to go home after a long day of work and tackle the challenges of parenthood is another impressive feat.

The way Pauline balances her demanding career with her home and family life seems effortless, but perhaps it is something she was able to teach herself after so many years of experience. Constable Pauline Gray is the perfect role model of someone who has found that delicate balance in her life, and an instrumental example of how not only those in law enforcement, but in any career, can achieve stability in their own lives. Combating work-related stress is key to a happy and healthy lifestyle.