An Interview with T.P Lentz: "Bi-polar Isn't so Bad"

Being one of the top bloggers on the web had its perks. You wouldn't believe the variety of characters I have in my address book. I did over 80 blog interviews; with fascinating and fun people ... my interviews helped sky rocket me to blogging fame!

Some of my acquaintances are strippers, hookers, and other nefarious characters. The reasons I know these people are because of being in support groups with them over the last 15 yrs. Sexual survivor support groups, and a few others. They've all agreed to take an active part in the interview, knowing there is no compensation... but simply wanting to tell me their stories.

This will be part of a series of Interviews; I hope you enjoy them all.

People have long misunderstood and misjudged others with chemical imbalances, diagnosis', emotional problems, etc... Today I am going to interview a gentleman who has been diagnosed as being bipolar.

First off, thank you Mr. Lentz, for agreeing to be interviewed.

When is the last time your emotions crashed?

I tend to "crash" into a depression every winter, regardless of any apparent stimuli. This past winter though, it was somewhat harder to bounce back than usual.
What brought it on?

Well, it's the change in weather mostly... the extended darkness, the colder temperatures. This time, it was a deeper depression due to circumstances with a former landlord, career stress, loneliness.

How did it end up, what brought you out of the darkness this time?

Well, moving out of that one apartment sure helped! And, I suppose taking some time to get to know myself a little better... reading that "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" book. More than anything, though, I know that my very dear friend's faith in me has been better than any pill I ever took.

Tell me what outward symptoms you were showing?

Restlessness, fatigue, uncharacteristic irritability, a general disheveled appearance... often times going days without shaving, and just wiping my face and upper body with a wash rag instead of taking a shower.

Tell me when you first noticed being depressed? How many years ago?

1981. When I was still in the Navy, stationed in Colorado Springs. I kind of fell off the deep end over a woman I had been dating.

Did you seek treatment on your own?

Back then? No... I just thought it was a "normal" reaction to another failed relationship. I just never knew until about 10 years later that what happened in 1981 was really the first "warning sign."

Tell me about the events that led up to your diagnosis?

Kind of like that guy from mythology... the one who made himself a set of wings and flew too close to the sun. I had gotten pretty "high" ... a "good" lifestyle, but wasn't satisfied with it. I wanted more... and more... and more. Then suddenly, I thought I was too good to waste my time and talent in a $30,000 a year job, so I just quit. Just like that. I felt invincible... I thought I could do anything I wanted to do, and so, out of the blue one day, I decided that I could use my pick-up truck to make money... I signed up with a package delivery service as an independent contractor... but, well... I quickly discovered that it wasn't such a lucrative idea after all. Some days I'd barely make enough to pay for the gas I had used. And with my savings account quickly dwindling, just to pay the mortgage and other bills, I was quickly approaching a major crash landing. Then, one day I did crash land... literally. I was involved in a motor vehicle accident that totaled my pick-up truck, and thus ended my livelihood... I was able to sell my condo for a few thousand more than the unpaid mortgage amount; the insurance paid off the truck, but sure as hell didn't replace it... but at least I was off the hook for those $400 a month payments. I had to move into a less than desirable location, and lived off advances from the insurance settlement that my lawyer was able to front. When that finally came through, I just moved back home with my parents "until I got back on my feet" but within a couple weeks the symptoms of this disorder that I never knew I even had were quite apparent to my mother; and that's when she stepped in and more or less forced me to get the help that I needed.

What type of pharmaceuticals have they tried with you? And what meds are you on now?

At first, it was Lithium and Adavant... the Lithium as a daily routine, and the Adavant "as needed" for anxiety. It took awhile to tweak the dosages to arrive at the proper therapeutic range. I rarely took the Adavant, even when I needed it, because I was afraid I'd get addicted to it. After awhile though, my body had started building up a tolerance to the increased dosages of Lithium, and I wasn't getting the desired effect. Rather than increasing it again, the doctor tried a combination of a reduced dosage of Lithium and Prozac. The side-effects of Prozac far out-weighed its benefit, so I stopped that, and the doctor then added Depakote. That worked well for several years, but in time, I began to build up a tolerance level to that as well. I went back to just plain Lithium a few years ago, and that seems to be working fine now, for the most part.

When the depression kicks in, how do you cope?

I cry, a lot. I argue with God, too... (smiling), then I pray the way I've been taught, and things start smoothing out for me.

What about Manic episodes? Do you have those too?

Not the "soaring spirit" kind of episodes I alluded to in my article here, but yes, every once in awhile I catch myself doing something grandiose... the difference now is that I can catch it much quicker and recognize it for what it is, then "talk myself down" so to speak.

What has been your experience with Doctors and their treatments?

The VA doctors, in my opinion, are clueless when it comes to this kind of thing. They like to assume that any and all mental disorders are related to drug and alcohol abuse, and post-traumatic stress syndrome arising from military service or combat tours. The VA system was my first option for treatment when this "condition" became apparent and problematic. My mother, who was more knowledgeable by virtue of her medical background, took steps to get me into the "private sector" ... those doctors, the specialists, and the therapists that followed made a significant difference.

How do you feel about being bipolar?

I've finally accepted it. I know I'm not "mentally retarded" like many narrow-minded and uninformed people like to believe about people with this and other chemical imbalance disorders. I know it's not a "curable" condition, but it is treatable, and the treatments work. I don't dwell on it anymore... but I don't embrace it either. It's a part of me, and those who are close to me know that, and understand. That's really all that matters to me.

Do you have talents or hobbies that help you deal with the ups and downs?

I've become more aware of my creative talents. When I recognize an approaching mania, I talk myself down of course, but I seize the energy it produces to push myself to write. Writing has always been a natural talent for me, but since becoming aware of my bi-polar condition, writing has become a very good therapeutic activity too. As far as hobbies... well, mostly the kind that keeps my mind occupied on creative things. I enjoy the outdoors, nature and such, as well as fine music, the arts... old movies.

What types of things do you write?

For now, "romantic fiction" ... yeah, I know, that sounds weird coming from a guy. I recently published two books, on Lulu.com; one is my coming of age story, and the other is a collection of stories I wrote in my "other" blog. I'm hoping that the restrictions here, at Associate Content, will help me avoid being typecast as that "other" kind of writer. I've already submitted some memoir-type pieces here, but eventually I'd like to explore some of the other categories available. There certainly is a lot of them!

It's funny; I seem to be able to write about matters of the heart when in fact I don't have a whole lot of experience with such matters. People who have commented on my poetry seem so amazed, and yet, I too have to admit that I'm just as amazed that that kind of feeling resides in me. I guess I've been blessed with the ideal "Muse."

Where will you go from here? What are your goals for the future?

As far as plans for the future, well... I'm not entirely in control of that. My hope is to spend it with one who is as passionate for this gift as I am... and to live happily ever after doing what we both enjoy doing so much... writing!

Thank you very much for this interview

Np! I appreciate you for taking the time to get to know me better.