An Introvert in an Extraverted World: Tips for On-The-Job Survival and Success

The day started with two cups of coffee and delivering a training session. On a Monday morning, one of the last places you may want to find yourself is standing in front of a roomful of people. Some of them are staring at you intently, notepads or laptops in hand, waiting for your words of wisdom. Others are hunched in their seats, hoping you won't notice that they're frantically text messaging a grocery list to their husband or simply trying to stay awake.

But that's how my work weeks often start. Giving trainings and other types of presentations is just part of my job. The day in question only got more frantic from there. Before I closed up shop for the day, I'd given the training, attended two lengthy meetings, and spent several hours on the phone. It was, as the song says "Just Another Manic Monday."

That night, I curled on the couch with a blanket and stared mindlessly at the television set. My body felt like I'd run a marathon, even though nothing I'd done that day could be described as intense physical activity. My brain, which is usually running a mile a minute, was blissfully blank.

"I don't know how you do it," my boyfriend said, rubbing my shoulder affectionately. I smiled, pleased by his praise. When I go to work, I don't save the world or even solve its major problems. But I'm an introvert in an extraverted job, and to other introverts that sometimes seems like an amazing feat.

There's no doubt about it. The world, particularly the work world, can be tough on people with an introverted nature. Granted, not every job is as people-focused and interactive as mine. But chances are that regardless of what you do for a living, you'll have to spend at least some of your workday dealing with clients and co-workers, attending meetings, and generally being responsive to others..

For truly introverted types, this can be daunting. But with a bit of understanding about your introverted nature and your needs, it can be not only doable but fun.

1. Understand What Being an Introvert Means

Once, after a particularly hectic but successful day of trainings and meetings, a co-worker and I were leaving the office together. She chatted happily about how she was going to celebrate our productive day by meeting up with some friends for happy hour.

"What about you?" she asked.

"Me? I'm exhausted. I'm heading home, having a quick dinner and curling up with a book." Just the thought put a bounce in my weary step.

"I'm so excited I couldn't possibly relax yet!" she replied with a grin.

That brief exchange was a classic example of introversion and extraversion at work. There's a common misconception that introverted people are antisocial loners who don't form attachments to others. That couldn't be farther from the truth. Two of the main factors in determining whether you're more introverted or extraverted are as follows:

- Do extended periods of social or professional contact with others leave you feeling energized, or drained?

- Do you think through problems and issues by talking with others as you work your way towards a solution, or do you prefer to listen, then process information and reflect on possible answers quietly?

Introverts are often very caring, committed and interactive people. They may not be the life of the party, but they tend to form close and lasting relationships with others. Being an introvert does not mean that you aren't capable of being active in social situations, leading a group, participating in discussions, teaching a class, or any other heavily interactive activity. What it does mean is that most likely, after participating in such activities, you will feel drained and yearn for some quiet time alone. An extravert, on the other hand, is actually fueled by these interactions.

You could say that an extravert's battery is charged by interaction with others. An introvert, on the other hand, is energized and mentally recharged by quiet time to reflect and think.

Another common misconception is that introverts are more thoughtful and reflective than extraverts. This is as also untrue. Extraverts can be very intuitive, creative and reflective people. The difference is just in how they do their thinking. An extravert often thinks through things by talking about them with others. He or she can go round and round in circles in a lengthy conversation, working towards a solution or an idea out loud. An introvert, on the other hand, tends to sit back and listen while others go through this exercise, and will then take the information he or she has gathered off to a quiet place to reflect on it.

As an introvert, you need quiet time to ponder and reflect. You can network and participate in social activity just like anyone else, but you need time alone or with trusted loved ones afterwards to recharge your batteries. You won't be in the thick of things at a large event, but the conversations you have quietly on the sidelines may lead to lasting relationships.

2. Don't Let The Way You Think and React Leave You Out of The Loop

In my line of work, we often determine how to handle problems by pulling members of our management team together for brainstorming sessions. This means that every time we have a new situation to handle, I find myself in a room full of people who are talking through scenarios and possible outcomes at what to me seems like a mile a minute. Their words are tumbling over each other in my head, and just when I think I've formed a sentence outlining my own thoughts and am ready to speak up, I realize the group has moved on to something else entirely.

This is one of the plights of an introvert in the workplace. This experience used to be a source of great frustration to me. I knew that I was as just as knowledgeable, creative and committed as everyone else in the room. So why couldn't I seem to collect my thoughts or get a word in edgewise?

The answer was simple. I'm an introvert.

The constant verbal exchange that takes place when sitting around a conference room table was literally revving up the engines of my extraverted co-workers. Talking through issues with each other was how they best approached solutions. For me, the exercise lacked the ability to sit back and reflect quietly on what I was hearing and learning.

Once, an hour or so after such a meeting, I found myself hit with a brainstorm of my own. I thought I'd found the perfect solution for the issue we'd been discussing. I quickly typed up a rough proposal and sent it to my boss as an email. The next day, he approached me and told me he thought my ideas had a lot of potential and that he wanted to try to implement some of them. He then asked why I hadn't just brought them up at the meeting. I explained that they hadn't come to me until after I'd had time to go back to my office and think for a bit.

At a staff retreat later that year, we had a counselor come in and do a Myers-Briggs-Type-Indicator assessment of our staff. One of the things the test evaluated was introversion versus extraversion. We then talked about how the different types process information.

Afterwards, we decided to try changing our processes a bit. Now, when we have a brainstorming session, we either send out written information beforehand or allow time to follow through afterwards. This gives those of us who are introverts time to think through things on our own before or after a meeting and to summarize our thoughts in writing, while still giving extraverts the verbal volley that helps them get their heads around a problem.

If you are an introvert, you shouldn't berate yourself for not being as outspoken or quick to think up ideas as some of your colleagues. Instead, prepare for discussions beforehand by reading materials and doing research, so that you can come to a table with your thoughts already collected. When this isn't possible, ask for some time afterwards to reflect on what you've learned and summarize your thoughts in writing. Your ideas are just as valuable as anyone else's. They just come to you in a different way.

3. Recharge During the Day

As an introvert, you can go a long way towards improving your performance at work by keeping your needs in mind and managing your day accordingly. Of course, if working with customers or attending meetings or going to networking events is part of your work, you can't just decide to sit in your office or cubicle instead. But what you can do is manage your schedule so that you can be refreshed and recharge when you are in more social situations.

When possible, block out chunks of time on your calendar that you can dedicate to solitary work time. Try to schedule periods of time for summarizing your thoughts or working on independent projects.

In the work world, some of the best networking and problem-solving happens over lunch or at the water cooler. So you should put forth an effort to spend some of your break time with your co-workers. But you can do this successfully and still give yourself lunch or break periods a few times a week where you can head off alone to take a brisk walk, close your office door, or find a secluded area to relax while you have a quick bite. Beg off of social outings that don't seem as critical by saying you've got some work to get done. Balance your need for quiet time to recharge with the realistic need to spend time with your colleagues.

4. Recognize the Strengths of Your Introversion

You can do those presentations, attend those networking sessions, and work with an endless line of customers. You can even do it well. But afterwards, you feel like all you want to do is go home and sleep. Your brain is fried, and even the things that usually come easy to you take some effort. Your energy has been drained by all that activity.

The good news for you is that work-related activity drains extraverts too. It is just a different type of activity that runs them down.

The focus in many workplaces is human interaction. But the reality is that there are just as many components of a workday that require working in focused solitude. There's data entry to complete, materials to design, copy to edit, projects to plan and coordinate, reports to run, data to analyze, content to write, processes to evaluate, and research to complete. The list of activities that require hours on end in front of your computer or in your office working away alone can be endless.

Just as introverts can get out there and socialize, extraverts can lock themselves away to complete these tasks, and do them well. But for an extravert, long periods of solitude and focused work can be just as draining as a busy conference can be to an introvert. Extraverts need frequent breaks from this kind of activity to talk with others and recharge so that they can focus on the work at hand. Some extraverts dread a day in front of their computer as much as an introvert dislikes hours on end of meetings.

As an introvert, you can use this to your advantage. Volunteer to take on more of these types of tasks, hopefully in exchange for less time spent on the front lines. You'll be giving yourself more opportunities to do the type of work you enjoy best, and providing your extraverted colleagues with a much needed break as well.

5. Introverts Can Network Too!

There's no way around it. Networking is a key to success in the workplace.

Two or three times a year, I am required to attend conferences that include large networking receptions. I always walk into these things full of trepidation. All around me, people are flitting from group to group, exchanging handshakes and business cards, talking briefly, and moving on to the next conversation. I try to get into the game, but inevitably find myself heading for a quiet corner instead. As I sit and watch the whirlwind of activity around me, I silently berate myself for not taking advantage of the opportunity to meet others in my field and make connections.

But if you think about it, introverts have their own unique set of networking skills. Most professions have email discussion groups, listservs and online bulletin boards related to their fields. As an introvert, you probably don't mind spending time poring through messages and responding with your own input and ideas. You can make connections with others in your profession through these resources.

At large networking events, look around you when you've made your way to that quiet corner. Chances are you'll see a few other introverts who have sought the same respite. Take a deep breath, approach them and start a conversation. Chances are they'll be just as relieved as you are not to be so obviously standing on the sidelines while everyone else is meeting and greeting. While you won't meet as many contacts this way, you'll probably have more lengthy, detailed and meaningful discussions with a few individuals.

6. Allow Yourself "Introvert Time" At Home

There will be times where, in spite of your best planning and intentions, your work schedule becomes overloaded with interactivity. To get through such periods and still perform at your best, it is critical to recharge your body and mind in your off-hours.

Make sure your home includes a space that is set up for you to think, work, reflect and recharge in comfort and quiet. Surround yourself with your favorite things, and make sure to spend a little bit of time in this space every day. Get plenty of sleep. Take a long walk on a Saturday afternoon, or read a book you've been meaning to get to forever.

When things get hectic at work, introverts can easily lose touch with their family and friends because all they want to do in their off-hours is relax in solitude. While you have to make sure you allow yourself time to recharge, it is equally important to let those closest to you know that you value your time with them and care about what's going on in their lives. If you can't muster the energy to attend that party your friend is having, ask her to join you for dinner or coffee later in the week instead. Curl up and watch movies with your spouse or significant other. Invite friends or family members to join you in a shopping errand so you can catch up and do the things you need to do at the same time.

By recognizing their strengths and balancing the needs of the workplace with their own needs for quiet and reflection, introverts can not only succeed but thrive on the job.

Take some time to reflect on what you can do to make your work life more comfortable and productive. Reflection is, after all, one of the things we introverts do best.