An Ode to Jeff Foxworthy

Comedian Jeff Foxworthy has built a career around the phrase, "You know You're A Redneck If..."
His unique comedy and style resonates with so many that he is regarded as one of the top selling comedians of all time. Foxworthy currently hosts FOX-TV's " Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?"

During his sold out tours, it is customary for "Jeff" to make a stop in Charlotte, NC. So, when I got the inspiration for this story, I reached out to "transplanted" Charlotteans and those that were born and bred here. Considering the fact that I've probably met a total two Charlotte Natives , since moving here 8 years ago, I was anxious to see what the responses would be.

So here, I offer you two lists to compare and contrast. One is from the "new" Charlotteans and the other from my friend Corey Dargan (a computer dude, aspiring musician and of course, native Charlottean). Alright folks, here's the inside scoop on my new home in a piece I'm calling:

"You Know You're a Charlottean If...."

1. You were part of the majority vote against using property taxes to build the Bobcats Arena, and City Council over-ruled you, and did it anyway.

2. The first question you ask when you meet someone is "What Church Do You Belong To?"

3. For lunch you head over to Harris Teeter, Costco and/or Sam's Club...not to grocery shop, but to partake in those delectable free samples.

4. You Know where to turn at the intersection of Queens Road -N-Queens Road. You also know that you are headed UPTOWN Charlotte and not downtown.

5. The head of your public schools (CMS) is recruited from California and is now one of the highest paid ever.

6. You are stopped on the street by "Charlotte Weekly" newspaper to answer a weekly poll about the existence of gangs in our schools. You later discover your goofy photo and quote made the cut!

7. You are caught in traffic on I-77 or I-85 for yet another Bush Presidential Visit. What is that about?

8. You wondered why it took federal charges of corruption and alcohol to finally put an end to the seemingly never-ending reign of House Speaker Jim Black. DAAHH!

9. The term BBQ means chopped up meat on a bun served up with slaw and baked beans.

10. You have to specify your tea as hot, sweet or unsweetened.

11. When giving directions to the Arboretum, you use the "pink" church as a landmark.

12. You find yourself surrounded by RV's and portable grills during RACE WEEK.

13. You're heading towards WAXHAW admiring houses beautifully decorated with flowered sofas on their porches.

14. You end up in Myers Park and think you're suddenly on Wisteria Lane and an episode of "Desperate Housewives."

15. After Taste of Charlotte, you wondered when Mayor Pat would be opening up his own restaurant. That's if he ever loses a campaign.

Here's Corey's List:

1. You remember the original krispy kreme and lingerie shop on Independence Blvd

2. Ever went or dropped someone off at skate palace (on S. Blvd.)

3. Went to Queens Park or Tryon Mall to see the movies

4. Used to stand in line on saturdays to pay your bill at the southern bell building off Freedom Dr.

5. Remember when Freedom Drive had a Red Lobster and Harris Teeter.

6.Remember when Zayres and Richway were the original Retail chains before Walmart and Target

7. Remember Richway becoming Gold Circle before it became Target

8. Looked forward to Spring Fest every year.

9. Remember Belk, Sears and Ivey's downtown

10. Still call CVS Stores Revco

11. When someone said gang they were talking about LA or Chicago.

12. Remember Jerry Peterson and Thunder Boomers!!!!

13. Watched Fred Kirby

14. Remember when people confused Charlotte for Charlottesville, VA

15. Remember NWA wrestling and Jim Crockett, Rick Flair, the Andersons and Magnum T.A.

The above lists might have some scratching their head. However, if you understood what the above items meant and actually laughed at 60% or more of them, you are definitely a Charlottean. So, that's our take on being a true, blue Charlottean.... go ahead send us your list!