An Open Letter to Barak Obama

I am contacting you to request that you strongly consider appointing the Governor of New Mexico, Bill Richardson, to some position in your administration. This appointment would not necessarily have to be to any position of importance, as long as it is located outside a 300 mile radius of the intersection of Interstate Highways 25 and 40.

Bill Richardson has several impressive qualifications which would seem to make him an ideal candidate for any number of important positions in the Obama Administration. He would, for example, be qualified to serve as your Secretary of Health, Education, and Welfare since he has an impressive six-year record as governor of a state with one of the highest rates of teenage pregnancies and infant mortality in the nation, where the high school academic standards are lower than in the prisons of most developed countries, and where a significant percentage of households receive some form of welfare payments. Although he is not a lawyer, this should not be a hindrance to his being appointed as your Attorney General since most recent Attorneys General seem to have been ignorant of the basic principles of constitutional law.

There are other factors that you should consider in support of Gov. Richardson being given a job in your administration, among which I must point out that he has recently grown a beard and is thus no longer in danger of being mistaken for Hugo Chavez. Additionally, since Gov. Richardson was only able to attract 3% of the vote in the recent Democratic Presidential Primary Elections, his prospects of finding suitable employment in the private sector at the conclusion of his term in office appear to be limited in that he was only marginally more popular than Dennis Kucinich.

Although I must admit that Gov. Richardson might have seemed to have "dropped the ball" when it came to the amount of campaign contributions flowing into the party's national headquarters, I am certain that this shortfall could be explained by the fact that many of Gov. Richardson's most loyal supporters are currently under indictment or are awaiting sentencing.

In conclusion I feel that there is one imperative argument why, if the rumors are true, you should appoint Bill Richardson as your Secretary of State: it would piss Hillary Clinton off to the point that she would probably lead an armed insurrection against your presidency.

Thank you for your consideration of this humble request.