An Open Letter to David Beckham

You are no Pele! In fact you should not even be in the same breath as Pele. You were once, one of the better players in all the world. Now, you are aging veteran who has decided to play for the worst soccer league in the world. Congratulations! You have continued to say that you are coming to the states because of the huge potential America has for soccer. Lets make one thing clear..... No one here cares about soccer.

People in America enjoy the game of soccer. That can be seen by the number of youth that play it every year and the enthusiasm every year that our underachieving men's national team gets every four years. And everyone in America went insane over Mia Hamm and Brandi Chastain's bra when they won the World Cup. So it is true that people in America like soccer, but no one cares about it. And do you know why David? Because soccer in America sucks. The league sucks. The competition sucks and it does not compare to any of the leagues in Europe or South America. If Pele is the "greatest soccer player to ever live" and he could not help in building America's popularity and potential for "futbol" than how will you?

Yes, you look like one of the Backstreet Boys and you married Porno Spice. Which will attract fans, trust me it will. Enough to make the next Lebron James, Tom Brady, or Derek Jeter want to turn themselves into soccer players? No way! All you are going to do Mr. Beckham is pick up millions and millions more in endorsement dollars. Put out a Pop Record with contributing artists like Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan (which will sell because people are have no taste), star in a movie with Jessica Simpson (which will be awful but will still sell), and he will be on the cover of every major magazine in states.You will also probably make the L.A. Galaxy go bankrupt because you will not put enough people in the seats to make it a worthwhile investment. Yes, you will be a Hollywood Icon, but you will not bring soccer to the states.

People will care about your looks, your accent, your fashion scent, what clothes your wife is wearing (or not wearing), but no one is going to win about how many games you win or goals you score. No one cares about you or soccer here. Goodluck though, I hope to see you in a reality show on MTV real soon.

Sincerely,

Your Biggest Fan