An Open Letter to Glenn Beck

How sad to see you go. Where else will the world turn to for half-baked, half-informed crackpot theories of impending apocalyptic doom and dismay? We'll all miss your nightly tirades comparing George Soros to the Anti-Christ. The world needs its loons Glenn, and you were the looniest.

What I'm most proud of you for is maintaining your absolute delusional nature to the bitter end. Comparing yourself to Paul Revere was a master stroke. The divide between Glenn Beck and Paul Revere is about as deep and wide as the divide between sides of the Grand Canyon. I'm not even sure I understand the analogy. Because Paul Revere went back to silversmithing after the Revolutionary War you're leaving Fox news...to go into silversmithing? If that's what you're announcing, then even more power to you!

Yes, that must be it. Glenn Beck is leaving Fox News to start crafting spoons and teapots out of silver. Hey, at least you can use your Tea Party protest garb more. No need to buy a tri-corner hat! Okay, I apologize for the chastising tone of this missive. I'm fully supportive feeling inspired enough to change their career path.

Are you going to set up a small Silver Shoppe in a quaint New England village? That would be awesome. You could get yourself one of those fancy signs that says "Silvers Fashioned Here: Glenn Beck, Proprietor/Owner." I'm thinking this is the best possible news for you, Glenn. I'm just angry at myself that I never saw the obvious connection between one of our nation's greatest patriots and that guy who rode a horse yelling at us that the British were about to invade.

You keep in touch Glenn. If you ever need help selling your wares, I'm sure any of us would gladly buy something from you. Sure, we never bought into your conspiracy theories, but this is different. You're an artisan, and I respect that.

See you soon,

James