An Unquiet Mind by Kay Redfield Jamison

I have to start by saying I love this book! I have read it several times, and every time I do it reassures me that I am not alone in my struggle with bipolar disorder. It tells me that others have had the same wildly fluctuating moods, the same frightening and irrational thoughts, and the same intense desire to escape the pain that I have had. The best part is that it shows me other people have made it through those difficult times, and so can I!

Kay Redfield Jamison tells her own history of life with manic depression, aka bipolar disorder, beginning with her childhood. Looking back she is able to discern the first subtle warning signs that something was amiss, and to identify the possible genetic components from her father. She describes her first bipolar episodes in high school and college with agonizing detail, from the frenzied activity and high energy of mania, to the crushing weight of depression. While reading I can see myself in her words, even though the details are different. I can see the commonalities, especially in the pain that results from the excesses of mania and the inevitable fall that follows.

Ms. Jamison addresses one of the most common problems that bipolar individuals have: medication compliance. Because she is a clinical psychologist, she is able to look at the issue both as a clinician, trying to woo the patient into taking the meds, and as a patient, irrationally resistant and defiant. One of the most telling events she describes is her speech at a mental health convention, where she begins by reading a paragraph attributed to "a manic-depressive patient." In this paragraph, which is, of course, her own experience, she details her reaction to being prescribed lithium: "The war had just begun." Although I do not take lithium, I am still familiar with the dilemma she presents. Medications help us to manage the cycles of bipolar disorder, but while they take away the excruciating lows, they also diminish the power of the highs, which are full of creativity and euphoria. It's impossible to control one without also losing the other, at least partially. This is why so many patients stop their medications at various times, causing relapses.

I recommend this book to all individuals with bipolar disorder, especially those who are newly diagnosed. I believe it can give you comfort to know that someone understands where you are coming from and that it is possible to have a successful life in the midst of the mood swing "craziness." It's written in an intriguing, articulate style that will have you eager to go to the next chapter as you read about Ms. Jamison's life. If you have not read this book, I hope that you will pick it up at your local library or order a copy for yourself.