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Timothy Sexton
Lord of the Grins: Jack Nicholson goes on a rampage inside a deserted church in Colorado.

Snakes on a Panel: A documentary that follows Ann Coulter, Bill O'Reilly, Joe Scarborough and Karl Rove as they make their away around America holding discussions in an attempt to convince people they really do care about them.

Rebel Without a Sauce: A slightly mixed-up kid embarks upon a journey of discovery when he is cast an outsider simply because he enjoys eating spaghetti with only a light basting of butter.

The License of the Lambs: Following the death of James Bond, Britain looks to a new species of suave, sexy spies with a penchant for cashmere.

Do the Girth Thing: Spike Lee's searing drama that explores the consequences when prejudice against fat people erupts in a Brooklyn pizzeria.

It's a Wonderful File: The fascinating story of how an anonymous clerk in an anonymous job with an anonymous company retains his anonymity.

Apocalypse Won: Great movie, but nobody was left behind to see it.

The Pagers of Wrath: Sci-fi epic in which earth is left desolate after paging operators learn to kill with sound.

Rebid of Frankenstein: Four words of warning for eBay customers: Don't Outbid the Creature

Brokeback Moan Unit: Umm…you should probably just insert your own joke on this one.

Indiana Jones and the Last Used Car: Exciting sequel in which a 79 year old Harrison Ford dons his trademark fedora and whips himself up one the most legendary used car deals in history.

A Priest of the Caribbean-Dead Man's Techs: Even an island paradise can't protect a priest from incriminating evidence of pedophilia found on his computer.

Lord of the Rings-The Elfish Plow of the Ring: A prequel to the massively successful film series, this entry focuses on the little-known episode in the history of the titular ring in which it was lost for a few minutes during a snowstorm in the land of elves. Estimated running time: Five hours. Director's cut includes over 27 hours of deleted scenes.

Halt Me and Louise: Alternative version in which Thelma is viewed as Louise's kidnap victim, begging the authorities to stop them.

Mentors: Charlize Theron adds an indelible portrait to her cast of characters by completely hiding behind makeup to convince viewers she is a 97 year old black man passing along his knowledge to streetwise kids inside an urban high school.

North by Wet Thorns: Thrill as Cary Grant, a victim of mistaken identity, makes his escape by way of a rose-filled swamp.

V For Date Vent: The first theatrical reality show featuring wimps wearing masks venting their frustration over girls who don't understand that dinner and a movie equals sexual submission.

The Manchurian Dad at Nice: A gripping thriller follows a Chinese martial arts expert brainwashed to killed when he plays cards with his children at beach resort in southern France.

In the Heat of the Thing: A southern sheriff must come to face his own prejudice when he is forced to hire an alien from another world as his deputy.

Published by Timothy Sexton - Featured Contributor in Arts & Entertainment

Timothy Sexton was named this site's very first Writer of the Year. Today he has several columns on Yahoo Movies and a weekly column on The Simpsons on Yahoo TV. He has published over 8,000 articles coverin...   View profile

3 Comments

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  • Dawn 10/25/2006

    Brilliant! :)

  • Stephanie H. Dray 10/25/2006

    Hahah.

  • J.C. Hagan 10/25/2006

    Life of Brain - Watch as religious fanatics now hilariously mistake a jarred human brain for their Messiah while the inanimate brain has been sent to a terrorist camp for being carried by Al-Quada.

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