Analysis of Social Competence in Elementary School

Looking back upon my childhood it is difficult to remember all of the friendships that I had when I was in grade school. I can remember a handful of girls who I used to play with, a couple of which I still keep in contact with today. These girls would come over to my apartment for a play date and I would go over to their houses. We would have sleepovers and birthday parties and had a good time together. In elementary school I never really had a problem with anyone and played easily with the other kids in my class. I was quiet and a bit shy but I did not isolate myself. I was overweight as a child and this did cause some teasing and taunting, but the name calling was mostly done by the boys in my class. The teasing bothered me a lot but not as much as it would have if it had been done by girls. Boys did not really matter yet as much as they would in a few years.

I believe that my social competence in elementary school was relatively average. I believe that though I did have friends I would have been considered a lower-status child. "Status is the evaluation of a role or person by other relevant members of a group. Children who have higher status have greater access to available resources such as toys, games, books, and information. In contrast, lower status children are more likely to follow the lead of children of higher status" (Feldman 363). I was definitely a follower and too timid to even come close to being a leader. I was not a poor child but my parents did struggle to make ends meet from time to time. This made my available resources less than those of my classmates. My personal choices also affected resources. When it came down to a choice between a fancy toys or books I usually chose books. I learned to read at the age of three and loved literature. There were days in the summer when I would much rather sit under a tree with a book than join group games. I definitely had tendencies toward being a loner which might have also had an impact on my status. I tended to play predominantly with lower status children. The small group of friends formed in elementary school endured nearly intact with some additions straight through high school. By then we would definitely be mildly classified as music/theater/academic geeks, though not so severely that others made life unbearable.

I can remember clearly a very popular girl and very unpopular boy in elementary school. Kristy was a girl who had long, thick, flowing blonde hair. She was as pretty as she was smart. She was not always in class because she acted in commercials and even had background roles in some movies and music videos. This was a child that everyone wanted to be friends with. Surprisingly she was also a child who would be friends with everyone and never really looked down on others no matter what their social status. She possessed many of the characteristics commonly used to describe popular children; "...helpful, cooperating with others on joint projects... able to read others' nonverbal behavior and understand others' emotional experiences..." (Feldman 364).

Jasper was a different type of child. Jasper had no friends and was treated horribly by some. Knowing what I know now about what his home life was like I feel really bad for this little boy. He came from and abusive home where he lived with his mentally ill mother. He had physical, mental and emotional problems because of this. He was aggressive and violent and even when people tried to be nice to him he would act in a way that made them back off. His clothes were old and his shoes had holes. This was a sad child with a lot of problems. Social competence is described as "the collection of individual social skills that permits individuals to perform successfully in social settings (Feldman 364). Jasper had none of these skills and that made his life so much harder.

Overall, I had it better than some kids in my age group and worse than some. Looking back I see things now that I did not as a child. There is much I would change if I had to do it again.

Works Cited:

Feldman, Robert S. (2006). Human Development Across the Lifespan (4th ed). New Jersey: Pearson Education.