Ancient Dysfunctional Families - Part VII

(See Part V first) When the genitals of the castrated Uranus fell into the ocean, a full grown Aphrodite emerged from the foam. Aphrodite became one of the sexiest trouble makers of all time.

Zeus knew that Aphrodite's beauty would cause trouble. He, therefore, married her off as quickly as he could. In his infinite wisdom, he chose Hephaestus, the goldsmith god, to be her husband. Hephaestus was so disgusting that Hera had banished him from Mount Olympus. Although Aphrodite was not happy, Hephaestus was thrilled with his beautiful wife. He showered her with his handcrafted gifts, including a kinky girdle that made her even more irresistible to men. Aphrodite used this girdle during a long string of affairs with mortal men. Through these unions, she became the mother of Eros and Aeneas.

When Aphrodite's beauty was challenged by Hera and Athena during the famous judgment of Paris, Aphrodite promised to make Helen of Troy love Paris in return for the title of "the fairest one". Paris agreed and his love affair with Helen eventually brought about the Trojan War.

Aphrodite could have no rivals. A mortal queen once claimed that her daughter, Myrrha, was more beautiful than even the goddess. To get revenge, Aphrodite put a curse on Myrrha so that she would lust after her father, Cinyras. When Cinyras discovered that Myrrha was pregnant by him, he tried to kill her. As Myrrha ran for her life, she prayed for mercy. Aphrodite finally swallowed her pride and helped the girl by turning her into a tree (it's a Myrrh tree; get it?), thus keeping Cinyras from killing her.

Aphrodite somehow extricated Adonis, Myrrha's baby, from the tree and sent him to live with Hades and his wife Persephone in the Underworld. When Adonis grew up, Aphrodite got the hots for him; majorly!

There was just one slight problem: Persephone had become enamored of the handsome boy and wanted to have him all to herself. The two goddesses got into such a fight that Zeus had to get involved. He said that Adonis would have to spend one third of the year with Persephone, one third with Aphrodite, and one third wherever he liked.

Since Adonis didn't like Persephone, he chose to spend the extra third with Aphrodite. Adonis was the only man Aphrodite was ever faithful to. She was so faithful, in fact, that her other lovers started getting jealous. The one who was the most upset was the god Ares. In order to do away with Adonis, he turned himself into a bull and waited for a chance to kill him.

Adonis soon went hunting without Aphrodite and ran into the bull; literally, apparently, because it somehow castrated him! By the time Aphrodite found him, he had already bled to death. The grieving goddess blessed the ground where his blood had fallen and caused red anemones to grow.

Down in the underworld, Persephone was thrilled that Adonis had come back to her (never mind that he was dead and was missing...we'll leave that alone!). Aphrodite, however, soon teleported in and started the fight all over again. Zeus intervened again and said that Adonis would have to split his time, fifty-fifty, between the two goddesses.

Source: http://www.pantheon.org/