And Then I Pray

You came into my life, why? I didn't invite you, I never wanted you around, you know this , but you will not leave, you don't know how much I hate you, and yet I don't hate anyone or anything. When you hate, to me, it is the same as killing. If I only knew how to kill you ....... It would have been done many times over. I awake every morning and there you are, ready to make my life miserable, the one thing you enjoy most in your life. Wherever I go, you follow bringing your misery into my life. Why cant you just leave and leave me in peace? I fight with you every day, and it hurts so much, so much it hurts to fight with anyone, even you. There is one way and only one way to rid you of me. I think of this often, but then where would I be? I would not be, because you are part of me, your name is bi-polar. Handed down from my father and from his father, and from me to my son, but he refuses to recognize you, so he fights you without help he could get. If he would only say I know who you are. I hurt for him everyday, and then I pray.

Oh God please forgive me for what I have brought upon my son. Son, I love you, and am so sorry for what you go through. Maybe someday we will talk again. Dad