And I Thought I Was at Church

I recently tried attending a new church in my area. I really liked this church, and I decided I wanted to become more involved. I joined this church's choir. I love to sing, and I'm not too bad at it if I do say so myself. Unfortunately, after I became a little blip on the radar screen, it started, the gossip, the back-stabbing, the hypocrisy.

Some who do not attend church might be gasping - Oh surely Laura, this can't be so! The church is a place of worship, a place to go and love the Lord with all your HEART, MIND, and SOUL. Why would there be people there to tear you down?

Well, I just don't know. But one Sunday, I left choir rehearsal crying, and once I got to my car - I was sobbing.

You see - the choir minister had called me into his office. He had a few "concerns" about what he had seen and heard about me. (Remember, I just joined the choir THAT Wednesday). I suddenly became very still, and got ready to do battle.

Complaint # 1: I had "yelled" at some kids who were running and chasing each other around the sanctuary, in a "very angry" voice. Hmmmm... House of the Lord, kids running - and we're not in Heaven yet. He went on to say that he was upset because I was yelling at children (these kids were at least 12), and he was handling the situation.

I'm sorry but how is, "Hey guys, cool it" handling the situation? Especially when the kids don't even LOOK at the person? I was upset that the kids were running around in the sanctuary, but all he heard was my "firm teacher voice." Hey buddy, I'll let you know when I'm ANGRY. Heck, Emma will let you know.

I didn't say all that. I humbled myself and admitted that I was wrong to scold children that weren't mine, even though they were desecrating a sacred place of worship. But hey, whatever.

Complaint #2: Just so you know, this took place AFTER the second service. So I needed some quiet and went to the sanctuary. I took out my cell, and an older woman frowned and gave me a disapproving look. I smiled and said "I'm calling God," and then I winked at her. I proceeded to make my call.

This lady told the choir director that I said, "I'm calling God, but I lost his number." I mean, even if I had said that, who cares? Anyway, at this point I started to cry, and I corrected him.

Complaint #3: The choir had made soup - each of us individually - before rehearsal - for lunch. Again, some woman went up to the director and said that I said in a VERY ANGRY VOICE, "HE BETTER GET UP THERE AND GET SOME OF MY SOUP, OR IT WON'T BE HOT," and that I was jerking my thumb in the direction of my soup.

Yes, because I'm such a gourmet chef, I want the whole world to taste my Safe-way Chicken and Rice Soup. Are you kidding me???

At this point I'm sobbing. I had waited so long to become involved in this church. We have been going there for almost 6 years, and I have not once participated in any activities they are always trying to recruit people for. I was biding my time.

And guess what? THE VERY FIRST WEEK I JOIN THE CHOIR IT HAPPENS. TWO PEOPLE GOSSIP ABOUT ME. ON THE SAME DAY. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME???

Let me tell you this. If Emma were not getting so much out of Sunday School, I would stop going to church. Wait, wait, wait. I wouldn't stop worshiping my Lord and Savior. I would just spare myself the old biddies who can't seem to stop making nasty comments and telling hurtful lies.

I left my old church because of this type of thing. I feel as if everything I say is being recorded and is listened to at the board meeting: OOOOOHHHH did you hear that inflection in her voice? She sounds like she might be possessed. Sounds like we need an exorcism!

What's even more crazy: I wasn't allowed to come back to practice until December 8th. No, I was not exiled. It's just that they were doing a musical, and I was swept into it. Everyone seemed excited that I was going to be singing it, but the choir director told me I wouldn't be ready. He doesn't know me. I would have been ready.

So, AFTER the musical, I would be allowed to go back, with certain conditions, of course. Very nice.

As for the choir, I joined because I love to worship my praises to the Lord through song. I feel so lifted up - I feel like my Holy Spirit and Jesus are taking a walk on the beach together when I sing to my God.

I didn't go back to choir. I couldn't. I would always have the choir director's words "We'll just have to take it one rehearsal at a time, and see how well you click with the group as a whole." So I could still have been given the boot. What's that all about? I can't have conflict with anyone? Yikes! That's like asking it to snow in August in the desert. Not gonna happen.

I got the feeling that it was okay for everyone else to be a sinner, just not me. "Be on your best behavior, and we might let you into our group."

I just wanted to sing to my Lord. Looks like I'll be doing that in my car and shower from now on...again.