Anger - Control it by Using Anger Management

All of us are well aware of the emotion of anger. Anger in and of itself is a normal human emotion. It inspires powerful feelings and behavior which allow us to fight and defend ourselves when attacked. The emotion of anger is not all bad. The problem with anger is when it gets out of control and causes problems at work, at home, and with your personal relationships. The goal is not to eliminate anger but to control it. Like Adam Sandler did with the help of Jack Nicholson in the movie "Anger Management".

According to Charles Spielberger, PhD in psychology, anger is, "an emotional state that varies in intensity from mild irritation to intense fury and rage". In general there are three ways people deal with their feelings of anger. They express their anger, suppress the anger, or use calming techniques.

If you express your anger in an assertive way, it can be a healthy way of dealing with it. You need to take precautions here as you don't want to hurt people's feelings or appear too pushy or aggressive. Being assertive means you make your feelings know to others and let them know what your needs are. Being respectful of others will allow you to get what you need in the situation. When you get pushy and aggressive, people will get defensive and not listen to your needs.

Should you choose the suppressing method of dealing with anger, you run the risk of turning it inward and affecting your health. Anger can cause hypertension or depression should you constantly suppress it. If you suppress it but then divert it, it's a better strategy. Divert it by thinking of other things and focus on anything of a positive nature.

The calming method can be effective. The old adage, "count to ten", is a calming method for anger. Simple relaxation tools such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery can help with the calming process.

Some simple relaxation tips:

Breathe deeply from your diaphragm. You don't raise your shoulders when you breathe deeply, you stick out you stomach. If you want to feel the proper breathing technique, lie flat on the floor and take a deep breathe. Your stomach will raise, not your shoulders. Picture your breath coming from you "gut"

Repeat a calm word or phrase like "calm", "easy does it", "gentle" slowly to yourself while you are breathing deeply. This is a basic meditation technique. The slow repetition of a word, or 'mantra' as meditation people call it, is a first important step in meditation.

Visualize a relaxing experience from your experience or just use your imagination. The concept of imagery is widely recognized as useful and proven techniques for self improvement. When someone makes you angry and you feel like calling them a "dipstick", imagine that person as an actual dipstick complete with dripping oil coming out their nose. If will force you to chuckle. Humor and laughter are great relaxing tools. Use your imagination to picture "funny" stuff.

Learn some relaxing yoga-type exercises. These will relax your muscles and force you to feel calmer.

If you can remove yourself from the situation that made you angry, it will be easier to do the techniques needed to manage your anger.