Anger Management Tips: An Interview with Therapist Travis Frye

Does your anger frequently have a negative impact on your job performance, relations with friends, family and others? If you answered yes then you can benefit from anger management tips. To help understand anger and what you can do to manage your anger I have interviewed therapist Travis Frye MA, LPC.

Tell me a little bit about your self.
"I am a Licensed Professional Counselor by the Arizona Board of Behavioral Health Examiners. I am a certified therapist in both anger management and grief and loss therapies, and I am pursuing certification in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples and families. My private practice is Crossroads Family Counseling Center located in beautiful Anthem, Arizona."

What are some signs and symptoms of someone who is an issue with anger?
"First of all, anger is not really the problem. Anger is a valid emotion just like sadness, jealousy, joy, or any other emotion and like all emotions they tell others and us what we need. Anger is a surface level emotion that often comes up when we have been hurt and when we are sad on a deeper emotional level. The problem is when anger turns into aggressiveness, which is acting out in harmful and hurtful ways to self and others. For instance, hitting, verbally abusing, destroying property, bullying, intimidation, and threatening others are all signs of aggressiveness. The key to knowing when aggressiveness is a problem is noting the frequency and severity. Also, if it is interfering in your daily ability to function then it is a problem."

What are some anger management techniques that you would recommend?
"There are so many techniques that are really good that I could not possibly list them all. What I want to do is focus on a couple important points. First, those with an "aggressiveness" problem usually struggle with distorted thinking patterns. They tend to think in extremes such as, "I am all bad," or "He is totally horrible." They also tend to have highly selfish thinking patterns that lead anger turning into aggressiveness. They want things their way, right away so watch out! Starting to identify these negative thinking patterns and how they impact behavior is a first step in overcoming aggressive outbursts."

"Second, what I have learned is that at the core of negative and distorted thinking is a struggle to have safe and secure relationships. Being able to turn to another person for comfort, soothing, and eventually relief is key in being to process and regulate emotion. This is where working through the deeper hurt, sadness, and sense of loneliness can produce life-altering changes. Simply put, we all need love and those who struggle the most intensely with aggressiveness are no different."

What would you suggest for a person who has anger that is frequently out of control?
"What I would suggest for those who are really struggling with aggressiveness is to join a group that not only teaches good techniques and how thoughts impact choices and behavior, but one that also challenges you to look deeper into your own emotional and relational needs. Relational counseling can also have the most tremendous changes in that the person learns how to give and receive love, comfort, and support which is like the antidote to aggressiveness."

What last advice would you like to leave for our readers?
"Take a risk! None of us can change without first admitting we have struggles and then seeking help. If you have friends, family, a partner, or someone you trust then make them a part of the journey. If you cannot identify someone in your life you feel safe with then rest assured that there are people who really do care and will be there if you only reach out."

Thank you Travis Frye for the interview. If you would like more information about Travis Frye check out his website at www.crossroadsfcc.com.