Angry Women Speak Out

Recently, I have noticed some websites regarding female anger. Some attention has been brought to female rage sites on the internet because of their focus on revenge against ex-boyfriends. These sites are not as uncommon as one might think, so I have some questions as to how much these really say about the state of women as a whole. What do these sites tell us about the pressures women are place under in society? How much of this is reflective of how the average woman feels?

Heartless Bitches International is a site that promotes strength in women. Heartless Bitches International also claims not to be a site promoting man hating and instructs visitors who feel this way to look up such words as sarcasm in the dictionary. This site claims that if you were once a perpetual victim, Heartless Bitches International will free you with a good kick to the frontal lobe.

However, if you look deeper into the site, you will find that this site is designed by people who define heartless bitches as women with a strong voice and independent thinking. Heartless Bitches are women who are capable of controlling their own lives and having a positive influence on the world around them. This is illustrated in their most recent addition to their list of Honorary Heartless Bitches: Rigoberta Menchu Tum, a woman who won the Noble Peace Prize for her work for social justice and ethnic reconciliation in Guatemala for indigenous peoples.

What's going on here? Heartless Bitch equals woman with intelligence? What kind of message is this? At first, we might be inclined to say, ridiculous! But, what if we ask why, why would a heartless bitch be a social activist? Do women feel pressured to not speak out against social injustice? Do these women feel pressured to go with the flow? Is it more insidious than that? Do women feel pressured to play dumb? The problem is that this site does not get across the message clearly in this regard. It does have a FAQ section that basically insults the intelligence of readers with an air of superiority that is distracting to any serious thought. It snidely proclaims that this site is satire, but where is the wit in this satire? This site seems to only further negative stereotypes surrounding intellectual and independent women. Whatever its purpose is, it is obfuscated by the fact that the moderators are unclear and full of unexplained rage.

Make Him Pay is a site that was created by a woman who was scorned by an ex. This site offers assistance in the revenge process against a cheating ex. The site offers to provide fake pictures of the ex in a compromising position to send his new love interest in an effort to make her believe he is cheating on her. They have pictures of cars vandalized by angry women who feel they must get revenge. The cars are spray painted and some are covered in obscenities. There are flattened tires and smashed windows. The site offers revenge ideas as well as paid services. Some of the ideas promoted include posting your ex-boyfriend's phone numbers on gay message boards and chat rooms. This will blow up his phone with dirty talkers. Make Him Pay promotes the idea of using what they have termed the "Gay Factor." Using the "Gay Factor" is also encouraged through the use of Classmates.com. Make Him Pay suggests signing up as your ex with Classmates.com and telling everyone he went to high school with that he is now an out of the closet homosexual.

The legal ramifications of such actions are not always clear, but the fact that these actions would constitute as harassment is pretty clear. Vandalism, destruction of property, and impersonating your ex are pretty obvious as illegal activity. There is also the idea that such behavior is rather undignified and desperate. However, the fact that this site exists, shows what most of us already know - people with broken hearts sometimes want revenge.

Just remember that revenge will not change what is. Revenge will only continue the cycle with your ex and give him plenty of ammunition to use against you both in court and in social situations. No matter what he has done to you, spray painting his car will make you look just as bad if not worse than he ever would. The next man you might fall in love with could hear about what you did to your ex and think that you are a nut. Revenge will end up costing you your dignity if nothing else. I realize that people can be cruel in relationships and in the breakup process. Sucking it up and responding with grace and poise is never going to hurt you in the long run. Accept what has happened. Consider how you ended up in this situation in the first place. What were some signs that this guy was the wrong guy? What was his complaint or reason for ending the relationship? Was there any validity to his reasoning? Whatever the situation, there is something to be learned from it. Make Him Pay is a site that is good for a laugh, but it is not going to be good for your dignity.

Why are women compelled to call themselves heartless bitches if they are strong and intellectual? Where do we get the idea that winning a Nobel Peace Prize or standing up for what we believe in puts us into a position that we are bitches, heart or no heart? If a man won the Nobel Peace Prize, would he be called a Soulless Bastard? Is this a result of the pressure that little girls and then grown women are put under to not say anything if they can't say something nice? Is this kind of pressure to "be nice" and not complain what created the pressure cooker that spawned Make Him Pay? Was it years of "nice" that didn't pay off that has ultimately led women down the road of shameless vengeance?