Ann Coulter Calls for the Death of Ann Coulter?
Is She Socrates with Great Legs?
Tucker Carlson, who shares Coulter's views on Canada without the United State being the Honduras, had mixed feelings. "I have mixed feelings," said the redundant bow-tied commentator. With her out of the way, I'd be the number one conservative bitch. But I don't want to get the title that way." Ragin' Cajun James Carville simply expressed dismay. "That girl is more confused than George Bush in front of a world map." Comments are also pouring in from the international front. Stephen Harper, the Prime Minister of Canada, said simply, "She thinks we'd be the Honduras without the United States? Well, I think she's wrong…DEAD wrong."
Spin Mistress Supreme or insane as Hitler in the bunker with Sharon Stone Basic Instinct legs? Coulter has even gone so far as to launch a web site, www.KillAnnC.com. According to alexa.com, the site is getting 300,000 visits per day. And apparently, many want to fulfill her request. The forum section of the site has threads covering various means of death by everyone from Charles Manson, Adam Carolla, and Jesus, to George Bush. Though Coulter's publicist maintains, "We think the George Bush one might be fake."
The "Death Column", as it's come to be known in this story, has Coulter comparing herself to Socrates in his famous Apology. "Socrates was charged with corrupting the youth, and he faced death rather than retracting what he said and going down in history as an hypocrite. I will stand by what I said and go down, especially if the guy is good looking and buys me the surf and turf."
Universal Press Syndicate, the company carrying Coulter's column in the three papers that still run it, issued this statement. "If Ms. Coulter wants to call for her own death, that's certainly her right. But until we have proven she actually wrote this column. We reserve further comment."
Published by Ed Druckman
Ed E. Druckman is a humorist for the web. He gives his views on current events in both text and video. You can find out more about him by visiting his MySpace profile. View profile
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7 Comments
Post a CommentPoor, poor Mann Coulter, so in love with her?...er,self well, what can we say? she knows that an Adam's Apple a day, will keep the straight guys away!
Spider Lady ask why is it that those who claim to be humble always miss the point?
She has no proof for half of what she says. :/ great article.
Say what you want about Coulter, she's got one damn fine Adam's Apple. In the words of Austin Powers, "She's a man, man."
She knows exactly what to say to get social conservatives to run out and buy her books to make her millions. She's got them wrapped around her little finger. She's sittin' pretty and probably couldn't care less about the issues she writes about.
Awesome! Thanks for more than a few chuckles!
Thanks Ed, love your stuff. But I refuse to visit the Kill Ann site for fear I'd be contributing 1/300,000 of a percent of AdSense revenue or the like. Besides, I can't imagine she would be too difficult to knock off or there is much need for creativity in the matter. According to Michael Gallagher et al. there was fevor over the fact she was almost mortally injured with a cream pie, thrown by a dissenter -- prior to the last Prez election. It's the holiday's, try Pecan.