Annoyed Tall Halls Have Had it Up to Here with Funky-Smelling Republicans

Washington DC-Town halls across the United States held a press meeting Friday on Capitol Hill to announce that they are fed up with smelly republicans stinking up their elegant hallways.

"Look, I've had a lot of foul liberal smells in my hallway before - unwashed clothes, marijuana smoke, and fear, to name a few - but they were nothing compared to the odor the republicans left this week," said the Orlanda, Florida Town Hall, which was used this past Tuesday by freshman Republican Congressman Dan Webster to promote House Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan's House budget plan. "Webster smelled just like a freshman; he was covered in so much sweat and cologne that it would have taken just one flick of a lighter to start a fire."

The Town Hall also stated that at least once a week, republicans blow so much gas out their ass that a professional cleaning service must be hired to eradicate the stench.

Paul Ryan himself also came under extreme criticism. According to the Milton, Wisconsin Town Hall, who hosted him earlier this week, Ryan has extremely bad breath.

"Every time the guy opened his mouth, a stream of the most rancid breath began weaving its way all over my hall," she said. "It boggles my mind to think that anyone out there would support the plan of a guy who doesn't even know how to use a breath mint!"

She added, "Until he buys some mints, maybe he should just keep his mouth shut."

Moral of the story: Hey republicans, you stink! Except Joe Scarborough. I personally think he smells okay, though word through the grapevine is that Mika thinks he has bad body odor.