Annoying Habits, Relationship Deal Breaker

SaraSue
It's no news to anyone that habits are hard to break. We all have our own quirky habits that we probably are unaware of or have paid them little attention. When you live alone you can basically do whatever you want at home and be a little more careful outside. But this all changes when you are dating and are eventually in a relationship. The habits now come to the forefront and have to be dealt with.

You may be dating someone for awhile, feel that you click well, there's a strong attraction,your goals are the same, you have similar likes and dislikes, you laugh at the same things. All this is great but there are some things that are starting to drive you crazy. Maybe he picks his teeth, maybe she twirls her hair. Maybe her car is filthy, maybe his home is filthy. Whatever it is, the more you date the more this habit annoys you. You wonder if you can stand it or if you actually have to break up the relationship and move on. It may sound trivial to break up over an annoying habit but sometimes the habit can really be a deal breaker.

One habit that can almost never be overlooked involves cleanliness. For a clean, germ conscious person, it's torture to be around someone who has little care for cleanliness. If the slob can't change, even for the sake of the relationship, this may be a deal breaker. This is also an issue of respect, if he can't respect your need for cleanliness that's bad sign.

Another tough to stand habit is smoking. This is obvious, but sometimes you can slip into a relationship with a smoker and then have to make a decision if his/her smoking is a deal breaker. Most non smokers won't date smokers but sometimes it happens and he or she may be in a tough bind. Sometimes you can compromise, such as not smoking in the house. This will be absolutely crucial if you have children. But can you live with the anxiety of worrying that he will get lung cancer and morbid or not, you'll have to care of him? Finally, can your healthy and environmentally safe lifestyle stand the contradiction of living with a smoker? Never rely on her quitting, let her do that before you get any further in your relationship, then you can see how long it lasts. Smoking is a very difficult habit to live with and pursuing a relationship with a smoker may turn out to be a very bad idea.

An awful habit that is effecting more people by the minute is excessive cell phone use. This includes talking on the phone in public, and or texting incessantly. If he or she is doing this when with you, that's a definite deal breaker. Such behavior shows no respect for you or for anyone else. There are definitely cell phone addicts, everyone knows one or more. Personally, I find a bluetooth in the ear repulsive. These addicts are almost always compulsive talkers and if you value peace and quiet save yourself from a potentially horrendous relationship. Rarely, the talker may actually not be aware that she talks on her cell phone excessively or that it really is rude to yap in public. Maybe all her friends do the same and she never really thought about it until you brought it up. There may be hope for you then, but wait and see if she really can change.

I have only mentioned a few of the many habits that can range from annoying to impossible to live with. You need to gauge the level of discomfort the habit or habits cause you. Imagine living with that habit everyday, can you accept a germy, sloppy guy or an ashtray breath woman heading for lung cancer, or a compulsive talker? Love does not conquer all, keep that in mind.

Published by SaraSue

Freelance Writer, Artist, Homeopath, Grade School Teacher.  View profile

2 Comments

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  • Sarala10/19/2010

    interesting perspective, neatness seems to be an issue with so many people. It sounds like you balance each other out nicely.

  • Abby Willow10/19/2010

    My fiance is a neat freak and I am more of a clutter hound- I annoy him leaving crap everywhere, he annoys me picking it up! On the other hand, he DOES collect every empty container he can get his hands on- how many empty milk jugs and coffee cans do we need?! It's the annoying quirks that keep a relationship alive, I think. We still get a kick out of each other

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