Annual Birthday Letter to My Birth Daughter

Aug. 9, 2011

Dear McKenna:

On the 15^th you'll be 11 years old, which most of the time these days seems impossible for me to believe.

Did you know there's a National Scrabble Championship going on this weekend? Grand prize is $10,000. The youngest player is 12. That's something I bet you'd be great at as fantastic of a speller as you are. I just heard about it on the news as I was writing this to you.

Anyway, this year has been full of magical surprises when it comes to you, as it normally is but two especially comes to mind.

When I had my bad wreck in November, for a few days all I could picture when I closed my eyes was my hood coming up and smashing my windshield. But, then when I unexpectedly got to see you and saw you perform your routine at TCU with your team, every time I closed my eyes, those thoughts were replaced by you dancing.

And while I was watching you perform on the gym floor in "real time," all the anxiety I had felt from the wreck just melted away and all I could feel was pure happiness and joy as I sat there watching you dance with your team, knowing how lucky I was. I forgot all about the accident. That's what you do for me.

Isn't that cool?

Back in March, when I was about to turn 45, you got me back on roller skates for the first time in probably 20 something years. I'm sure I looked like Frankenstein out there stumbling around! I had no idea you really wanted me on those skates until you kept asking then I couldn't let you down. Maybe next time I'll make it around more than once. You were zipping around that rink like I used to do, effortless like a speed bullet. Seeing you skate brought back memories of how carefree and fearless I used to be as a child and I was so proud.

You were incredible and made it look so easy!

Sometimes when I can't sleep these days I just lay in bed and think about your writings. Like this week I've been thinking a lot about your 2010 Letter to Santa which was so entertaining to me and your short story that your teacher loved which was very creative and my sister Cindy was so impressed by. And I marvel at your talent. Then there is the book you just won the award for, of course. I loved the name (Blue Sky) that you picked to name the dolphin. Your imagination knows no bounds. Poring over your book, I was filled with such pride.

It all seems so amazing that you have done so much in such a short time and continue to. And I'm grateful.

You are much more talented at writing than I was at your age. Your choice of words is way more descriptive and how you phrase things is entertaining.

I really enjoyed our most recent visit last month and I had missed you so much. I couldn't wait to see you. The night before I see you is always like Christmas for me. I'm full of anticipation and can't wait to see what you'll look like this time, how tall you've grown, and hear all about what you've been up to. And it makes me happy to hear from Vicki that you look forward to seeing me, too.

Sometimes I see TV shows that are about children who are not near as fortunate as you are and it makes me so glad that you are as healthy as you are and so well cared for.

I know at this last visit you said you wanted to be a pediatrician, a nurse, or school nurse. Whatever you decide to be, I know you'll be great at it because you put your heart and soul into what you are passionate about.

Happy 11^th Birthday to you, baby and I hope it's a blast!

Love, Terri