Another Perspective

I am having lunch with my soon to be ex husband. After I called the police on him and got him thrown in jail, I was surprised that he answered my phone call. I guess being together for two years did have some effect on him after all. The years of abuse I suffered from childhood, the horror stories I told him did just what I wanted them to. Made him think it was the past that made me seem so crazy.

Just when we are having a conversation, who should appear out of nowhere? My brother and his judgemental girlfriend. Talk about living in a small town! My brother looked like he was going to grab my husband by the neck and take him out. I don't blame him, I have said alot of bad things about my husband. How he is neglectful of me and doesn't treat me the way I should be treated.

It wasn't him that caused to much strife in our relationship. I wasn't trying to change him I do truly love him. I just don't understand why he couldn't tow the line, couldn't be the man I needed him to be. Why he could not stay the same. He is all I ever wanted in life. My chance to start anew.

But because he could not, would not be there for me, he has to go. No matter how much it hurts me, I have to let him go. This final meeting will cement our goodbye, and although I am sad I am trying to start a new life.

Why could he not love me? Why wasn't I enough? The answers are never clear in this life. Some are meant to be and some are not. Maybe I wouldn't be where I am if I did not have this experience. I hope I can find the good and get on with my life.

Maybe I should look like I am about to cry? Will that stir up some sympathy to the sad situation I am in? I am only trying to go on with my life. I cannot feel sorry for what I have caused, my sister in law will just have to deal with it. She thinks she is better than me and has it all figured out. My brother loves me more than she will ever know and will stick up for me long after she is gone.

So now on to my new life. What ever happens, I am sure by moving on and trying to improve myself it will help me. I am the master of my own destiny. I am strong, I am doing the best I can. I can do it. My circumstance will improve. It has to happen. And I will make sure it does.