Anti-Parenting: Reasons to Remain Childfree

As I pen this, it is Mother's Day. It seems an apropo time to be writing an Anti-Parenting Guide, doesn't it? As the world extols the notion that motherhood is the ideal for all women, as mother, I write of the opposite option. I've quipped for years that having children is for the very young or the very stupid. What I was alluding to was that some people should not have children. If having children isn't a priority for them, society shouldn't force its expectations upon them. Motherhood for me has been the joy of my life. For some of my friends though they like children, they only like to borrow them, like one borrows a library book and returns them at the appointed time. For people such as these, having children would be a living nightmare.

Driving down the street my sister exclaimed, "Look, Jim. Look at the baby." Turning in the direction and looking to see the adorable brat worthy of such a proclamation, not an infant was to be found. Then she said, "Look at that adorable baby Benz". Jim voiced his agreement. Knowing them as I did, it made me wonder if remaining childless would be a good option for them.

Choosing to be childless sounds like you are losing something, to some. Childlessness, need not have a negative connotation. However in the days of making all things politically correct the preferred term is childfree. Personally, the term childfree reminds me of the song, Born Free. It does substitute rather well. Check out the lyrics of the tune with substitutions made; it demonstrates valid reasons for a childfree life.

Childfree, as free as the wind blows, as free as the grass grows,
Childfree to follow your heart.
Childfree and beauty surrounds you, the world still astounds you,
Each time you look at the stars.
Stay free where no walls divide you, you're free as the roaring tide,
So there's no need to hide.
Childfree and life is worth living, but only worth living,
Cause you're childfree.

My rendition of the song is admittedly, a bit over the top. However, it gets points across. If you look closely you'll find five reasons to remain childfree.

5 Reasons to Remain Childfree:

Freedom: There are more options open without the encumbrances of children; you are as free as the wind. The choice to have a child results in a lifelong commitment. Children have been invisibly tattooed stating, no deposit; no return. Ask anyone woman who has just given birth. She'll swear to the tattoo marking on that child. She'll say it arrived on a one way ticket, no return trip and no way, no how is it going back in the way it came out. Freedom is the ability to come and go, to be carefree and at times to be allowed to carry out whims and wishes instead of always doing the responsible thing. It is the freedom to choose what to watch or not watch on TV. Having a child means potential years of torture of watching, Sesame Street without the beloved Cookie Monster.

Free to be you & me: When childfree, both are free to follow their hearts in terms of dreams and ambitions. There is a chance to follow your passions in life. It is more than freedom from responsibility; it is a freedom of the spirit. Psychologists call this a chance to become self-actualized, to evolve and follow your 'higher calling', whatever that may be. When someone is tied to your apron strings, it is hard enough to get out of the room let alone soar to new heights.

Environment: Concern for the beautiful world in which we live, is another reason couples make the childfree choice. The world is overpopulated, filled with famine, water shortages, wars, and rumors of war, terrorism and deadly illnesses. Some have concluded the best option is to be part of the solution to these problems. As they see it, the world's delicate balance can be tipped further with the addition of more people. For others, it is more about their internal environment. They have an internal compass that tells them having children is not the right thing for them to do. For example, it isn't right for persons to take jobs in certain fields that they aren't well suited. If a person sings flat the world is a better place if that person makes no attempt at being the next, American Idol.

Relationship: In a childfree union there are no walls (i.e. children) to come between you or to disrupt the harmony. USA Today, in 1997 reported that couples only reach a level of "pre-baby" satisfaction once children have left the nest. A relationship can be rewarding without the addition of children. In today's society, it is hard to make time for each other with the constraints of a career. Add a child into the mix it is next to impossible to make your relationship a priority.

Finances: Couples don't want to compromise their standard of living. Raising a child to age 18 costs upwards of $270,000 each, according to MSN Money 2004. Couples that don't want to make this type of commitment will feel like they will need to be committed when forced to sacrifice in this manner. Eddie McNamara, author of Kids: The Ultimate Bad Investment puts it this way, "Their first nine months are spent as a parasite inside their mother, the next twenty-one years from your bank account".

There are many other reasons that couples remain childless. It is a valid personal choice just as it is a valid personal choice to choose to have children. But if you are still having difficulty in deciding whether or not to have children, you may want to check out this Charles Fernyhough's Tweets; you'll be in for a treat. Scan through the amusing antidotes to be anti-parent. I have an example that may have impacted my choice. "Anti-parenting tip of the day: Avoid using live slugs for the kids' science project."

Sources:

http://www.hi.com.au/eec/childless_case.htm
http://www.oldielyrics.com/lyrics/frank_sinatra/born_free.html
http://www.impolitesociety.com/2007/10/my-og-anti-parenting-blog-from.html
www.twitter.com