Antipoleez: Evade Police by Not Having a Dirty Mouth

While checking out TV at my hotel room, I came across a news station giving a very interesting report on the spray that supposedly takes away any trace of alcohol or food, Antipoleez. I thought to myself, hey, I could d some interesting experiments with this. So, I looked around the hotel, looking for two other participants to join me in this small 40 minute quest. So, I did!

Meet Jack and Anna Homes, a recently married couple who had to cancel their honeymoon for a couple of days due to the American Airlines crisis. Jack is a police officer who told me he didn't buy into the hype of the so-called hyper spray and Anna is a high school teacher. Jack is actually a very nice guy, now telling me of past experiences with many drunk drivers. As luck would have it, he actually has a small kit including a breathalyzer, perfect for our test. So, we hopped into their car, driving to the nearest gas station, just a mile away, hoping that an Antipoleez would be found here.

As we were driving though, I had a rather unique discussion with Jack, who made several points about the product. First of all, as far as he knew, anything that attempts to hide a person's drunkenness, thereby leaving a risk to a possible car accident because of the person being drunk and disorderly, is quite illegal. Second of all, he thought, it was more than likely that the breath could only be removed for a very short period of time, due to alcohol being all over in the drinker's body system at the time. Another reason is also the fact that they are encouraging you to go against cops who are trying to do their job. Finally, people need to take consideration in the fact that there have been so many fake breath sprays out there. I actually do know what he means by that, too. At www.stupid.com, you can find a lot of breath sprays that do the most obnoxious and amazing-sounding things ever, like converting a person to Judaism or give them an Irish accent.

Ah, but finally, we arrived at the gas station, getting out quickly and finding the dang spray already. But, yes, we found it, right at the counter. I bowed myself to the cashier, the couple next to me staring with odd looks, and proceeded to inform the cashier of our occupations and goal. After my story, he laughed, beginning to pull out his own wallet and buying it for us, just to see what all the hub-bub was about on this spray (such a nice guy), but we still bought a little bit of alcohol to make it work. So, I slowly took a sip of the beer, feeling the juice go through me, and readying our Antipoleez. I took a nice 7 sprays of it and breathed it in. I held out my breath to the employee guy, asking if it worked. He sniffed and then lightly pulled back. "Well....I think that answers our question about it taking away the alcohol."

I lightly laughed, as did my officer observing my very light intoxication. I feel the spray itself didn't feel like anything on my tongue, let alone making it more minty. In other words, a Colgate breath spray could do better than that! I asked my officer-at-hand to check on me through the breathalyzer. He grinningly began the test on my breath. This was it. We would finally find out if it was all a hoax or a really illegal product.

The answer? A hoax! That's right, the breathalyzer test worked, allowing the officer to jokingly begin to handcuff me with gummy cuffs. I had a large feeling that it would fail as well, too, considering of all the popularity it has been getting. After all, all breath sprays tend to turn out like so, never having a special ability to make you invulnerable to car accidents.More than likely, I would buy this for a drunkie. Why? Think about it: If he thinks it'll save his skin, he's more likely to get arrested than get into an accident. So, in closing, buy this as a joke for a drunk.