Antique Store Etiquette

Do you love antiquing, but feel a bit intimidated by the proprietors? Do you feel like a rube when asking questions? Have you had a negative experience with a cranky antique person? Although antiquing can make for an enjoyable afternoon, one bad experience can taint the whole thing for the day-or even for good.

There are some general things you should know before venturing out, as well as some simple rules of etiquette and guidelines. These things may even put past bad experiences in perspective, and help you avoid the same dynamics.

First, antique store owners are generally really intelligent people. Autodidactism is fairly a side effect of the trade. If they've been in the business for decades, they've likely read enough about history, art, and anthropology from first hand documents and sources to earn a few master's degrees.

Antique people are the librarians of cultural artifacts, memory keepers, often with scholarly knowledge. However, they are also small business owners struggling to stay afloat. Usually, they perform every job in the store single handedly. Purchasing, pricing, cleaning and refurbishments, displays, sales, advertising, accounting, opening, closing, security-you name it.

Although it may look like they're just standing around-that is not the case. Antique owners work hard. They're also generally a warm and friendly lot, despite the stereotype. So, with these things in mind, here are some dos and don'ts to make your antiquing experience the most pleasant possible.

Dos

Acknowledge and greet the proprietor upon entry.

The antique store is not just any store. Sometimes, it's a house, either converted, or even a part of the owner's actual home. Even antique stores that are in regular storefronts still manage to convey an air and space of homey-ness with all objects present. Consider yourself invited in since it's open for business, but remember to respect the environment for what it is-kind of midway between a store and a home.

This is not Target or Goodwill, and you don't want to chat loudly on your cell phone, or let the children mess around with the toys and merchandise.

Ask questions, but be specific and thoughtful.

Many people are so intimidated they won't ask questions. The antique owner expects questions about their merchandise. Just watch the phraseology. Asking, "Is this real?" while holding an old Fiesta ware pitcher just invites sarcasm and comes off as an insult. After all, what does the question really insinuate or even mean? It's not imaginary, so yes, it's "real." I heard one proprietor answer that question with, "Yes, it's real--real old."

A better way to phrase it might be, "Do you happen to know, or can you estimate the age of this?" Or even, "What can you tell me about this item?"

Ask if you should leave your bag at the desk

Some stores have signage about leaving bags up front. This isn't personal or rude-it's a shoplifting prevention measure. Antique stores don't have security guards patrolling the store, cameras, or usually anything other than their own observations and instincts. People carrying large bags into the store are a bit of a threat, and if there is no sign, offering to leave your bag at the desk is a courtesy.

Don'ts

Never mock or ridicule any of the items.

Although this may seem obvious, sometimes there are some really weird or ugly things that just scream to be commented upon. Keep your head. The items have likely been personally selected by owner, and might reflect their own tastes and preferences.

Don't ask general questions about how the merchandise was obtained.

Aside from being irrelevant and none of your business, it's an irritating, oft-asked question. I used to work in a vintage goods store, and I can't tell you how many people asked the owner the same thing, "Do people just give you this stuff?" Antique stores are not thrift stores, and the merchandise is not considered cast-offs or junk.

Even if you're curious about the dynamics of the buying and selling, it's a question with a long and involved answer, and a conversation the owner probably doesn't want to have.

Do not allow children to run amok unattended.

It's appropriate to carry babies and toddlers, and keep older children near you. Damaged and misplaced items are not fun for you or the owner.

Do not carry things you wish to purchase, or are thinking about purchasing, around with you.

Take the items you know you are going to buy up to the counter, and ask for them to be held for purchase while you browse. If you are deciding on an item, leave it in the place you found it until you decide. Removing items from their place essentially takes them off the market, and is not fair to other buyers or the owner. Chances are high it will still be there.

Don't talk about buying or selling on Ebay.

Just trust me on this one.

There you have it. If you follow these guidelines, I can almost guarantee you will have a pleasant antiquing experience, unmarred by crankiness or bad feelings.