Anti-Valentine's Day Activities

Here comes Valentine's Day, and you without a Valentine. It's as if they've invented a day to make you feel bad about yourself. The heck with that. Try these Anti-Valentine activities.

1. Antivalentine Blue Brunch

Nothing pink. Nothing heart-shaped. An egg strata dish, with blueberry pancakes, or French toast with blueberries. Blue cupcakes or cookies. Play blues music, if you like. If there are children present, a Blues Clues board game can keep them (and maybe their parents) busy. And you can hand out Blue Ribbons to everyone who comes!

2. Antivalentine Day Out

Go somewhere you wouldn't go if there were two of you. To a play you couldn't afford to buy two tickets for. To a museum or art gallery that your ex hated. For a walk in the snow, all by yourself with no interruptions. If you have kids, get someone to watch them, and take this time to celebrate the glorious oneness of you.

3. Antivalentine Get Rid of Them Party

Before the party, make a trip to the dollar store to buy dolls or stuffed toys, ribbons, ties, scarves - anything to dress up the toys.

Everyone brings a photo (or some other memory aid) of an anti-Valentine - someone they really dislike. An old lover? Ex-husband? The teacher who told you you'd never get anywhere? A parent?

Each person picks a doll or toy and "dresses" it to resemble the Loathed One. Going around the circle, each person christens her toy with a toast, and either a real name or a pseudonym: "I name you Jason Servingale. You left me waiting in TGI Friday's for an hour, never said you were sorry, and broke up with me because I 'had no perspective.' Take that, Jason Servingale." "That," can be a punch, a stab with scissors, a bop on the head.

When all are finished, the hostess opens a dark-colored trash bag, and, one by one, the Loathed Ones are thrown into it, along with the photos. "Jason Servingale, you are gone! You will never disturb me again, by day or by night. I am rid of you and all the anger you cause!"

After the dolls are all in, the trash bag is tied up tight and put in the hall, or out in the garage, or wherever garbage is supposed to go.

Then all adjourn to supper, relieved (temporarily, at least) of their burden of hate. If you want to do a potluck, everyone should bring in something the Loathed One dislikes - you know, the stuff you never cooked because he didn't like it.

4.Antivalentine Sale

Got a former love bunny, who isn't anymore? What did he (or she) ever give you? Sell it! List it on Craigslist or on EBay, and get rid of it! Wouldn't you really rather have a few bucks in your pocket than a reminder of that episode in your life?

5. And, possibly a last resort: Antivalentine Be Prepared Day

Get some jobs done way ahead of time. Address Christmas cards for this coming Christmas. The day after Valentine's Day, buy post-Valentine's candy to save for Easter. Iron the Thanksgiving tablecloth. Cut out green paper shamrocks for St. Patrick's Day. There are lots of more important days than this one.

And remember, whatever the merchants say, it's only 24 hours!