Anti-Valentine's Day Party Ideas for Singles

Frank Costanza: Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. As I rained blows upon him, I realized there had to be another way.

Cosmo Kramer: What happened to the doll?

Frank Costanza: It was destroyed. But out of that a new holiday was born-a Festivus for the rest of us!

­-Seinfeld, "The Strike"

Several Februarys ago, I wished a Happy Valentine's Day to a single friend of mine. She responded with an indignant look. "I don't celebrate Valentine's Day," she said. I was mortified. I'd made it through December without committing any politically incorrect holiday greeting faux pas, yet tripped up on what I assumed to be a universal celebration. Not so. And why should it be? For the bachelors and bachelorettes among us, Valentine's Day only serves as a poignant reminder that they haven't found that special someone-yet, anyway. Many, including my cynical friend, insist on referring to February 14 as "Singles Awareness Day" (or SAD for short).

Now that I'm single again, I find myself sympathizing with the SAD folks as Valentine's approaches. The whole idea of it annoys me now. Why should I celebrate it? Wasn't this holiday invented by Hallmark? I refuse to participate. No one can make me. It violates my basic rights. But, unfortunately, it isn't enough to simply ignore the holiday and pretend it doesn't exist. Oh, no. To reject this commercialized contrivance, it is necessary to find an alternative way to spend the 14^th. Just as Frank Costanza eschewed Christmas for its frill and sentimentality, those of us disillusioned with love can embrace an Anti-Valentine's celebration-a Festivus in February, if you will.

So don't sit at home and sulk this Valen-er, Singles Awareness Day. Gather your single friends and throw together an Anti-Valentines party to commemorate the fact that you're the lucky ones (just go with it) who presently don't have to deal with the headache and drama that invariably plague romantic relationships. But instead of aluminum poles and feats of strength, it only fits that you dress up your party with some appropriate who-needs-a-valentine-anyway trappings.

Here's a few ideas to get you started:

The Basics

First, make sure the invitation or e-vite sets the tone of the function. The point is a fun, freewheeling time-not a pity party. While you're at it, establish some ground rules. No one may utter the dreaded V-word the entire evening. Also, no exes shall be called by name. If you don't have a problem adding structure to the party, concoct a scoring system to decide who will win a grand Anti-Valentine's prize at the end. Award points to the winners of various games throughout the evening, assess penalties to those mentioning the above off-limits topics, and give special bonuses for the most creative Anti-Valentine's outfit (emo may work) or Anti-Valentine's food item.

Caution: The idea of assessing penalties may appear to lend itself to some kind of drinking game. Don't take it that direction. People will be be relaxing and having fun anyway. Refrain from adding rules that may turn a light-hearted party into a raging kegger.

Food

Many AC content producers have provided excellent instructions on how to prepare various Valentine's-themed foods, like cakes and cookies. Feel free to take some creative license with these. For example, after you use a cookie cutter to cut heart-shaped cookies, cut each heart in half with a jagged edge before baking. Instant broken-heart cookies! Above all, have a variety of different foods like pizza or subs besides just desserts. You can offset some of the cost by enlisting the help of a few friends in this department.

Decorations

Although the tone should remain upbeat, don't hesitate to modify some Valentine's decorations to serve your party's theme with some dark, albeit whimsical, humor. Aside from the obvious ripped-heart image, a decapitated cutout of cupid, for example, may be the perfect theme to use as your party's motif. If you have the resources at your disposal, you may also combine Valentine's and Halloween decorations together. Illustrate your home with random scenes of bats attacking cupid, vampires biting hearts, or even Frankenstein's Monster and his bride attempting some sad attempt at swapping Valentine's gifts. If you're willing to make an even more demonstrative I-refuse-to-take-this-so-called-holiday-seriously statement, leave two jack-o-lanterns on your front porch, pseudo-facing each other, grinning maniacally, with heart shapes cut out for eyes. Bottom line: Put a tongue-in-cheek spin on the clichéd Valentine's images.

Music

An Anti-Valentine's party doesn't have to be anti-love, so a background of love songs is completely appropriate. Just make absolutely sure there's not a single sappy, sentimental tune on the playlist. Concentrate on over-the-top love ballads from the 80s hair bands and dance songs with ridiculous lyrics. One game for the evening can be a "song war." Split into two groups. Throw out a word like "heart" or "love" and make one group, in unison, sing a line from a popular song that uses that word. The other group has to think of another one, then back to the first, until one group can't think of another song (it's usually necessary to set a time limit). For some words, the round can last more than a half hour-but it's almost always a blast.

Activities

In addition to the song war, have a number of active games ready for your partygoers. Movies are always an option, but stick to comedies or lighter fare. Beyond that, the appropriate party games or other activities largely depend on the specific crowd you expect to find. If your group isn't terribly large, and you mostly know each other, you may dare to share stories about the worst date (that's date as in evening, not person) you've ever been on. Bonus points to the best (worst) story. Just remember that the point is to get a laugh. Though it may resemble an "airing of grievances," nobody came to hear someone else's angst.

Above all else, keep it fun, keep it whimsical, and remember that your goal should be to make your "coupled" friends jealous that they weren't allowed to attend. The point is to enjoy the evening and not focus on whether or not, at one point in time, you happen to be tied to someone else. There'll be time for that the rest of the year. And who knows? Maybe you'll meet someone at the Anti-Valentine's party...