Anti-Valentine's Songs: The Top Ten

It's true, not everyone is sold on the notion of Valentine's Day. For many of those happily ensconced in a cocoon of romance, February 14^th is full of promise and joy. For everyone else the day is at best pointless and irritating, and at worst downright painful. So, I've compiled a list of the best "Anti-Valentine's Day" songs. These are the songs about the way love can go bad, about the way breaking up can be both annoying and liberating, and about how sometimes being single is better than getting a box of chocolates and a sappy card.

Whether you're broken, bitter, or just plain bored with the whole idea of love, here are some songs to provide an antidote to all that Valentine's Day schmaltz.

10. The Weakerthans - "Left & Leaving"

Memory will rust and erode into lists/ of all that you gave me

If you plan on capping your Valentine's Day with a good cry, you'll not find a more heart-wrenching song about love and loss than this one by the Weakerthans. Make sure you have plenty of tissues handy, though, because this song is absolutely heartbreaking.

9. Elvis Costello - "No Action"

I don't want to see you/ 'cause I don't miss you that much

On the other end of the spectrum is "No Action," a perfect song for when you've broken up, but aren't too broken-up about that fact. This song is a clever look at the way some feelings (even just petty jealously) can remain against all logic.

8. Alanis Morrisette - "You Oughta Know"

I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother

There's a reason that this song makes most lists of break up songs. "You Oughta Know" is bitter, angry and, let's face it, hilarious. This song is perfect for a Valentine's Day scream-along session.

7. Billie Holiday - "Baby, Get Lost"

You love me like an angel/ but you treat me like a fool

Billie Holiday's "Baby, Get Lost" can be considered a realist's love song. On a day of over-the-top declarations of love, this song (about relationship power-plays and cheating) feels wonderfully subversive, and makes a great anti-Valentine's Day tune.

6. Rufus Wainwright - "One Man Guy"

These three cubic feet of bone and blood and meat/ are all I love and know

So far I've listed songs for those nursing a broken heart, and for those needing to vent. But what about those who are single and perfectly fine with it, thankyouverymuch? Well, this is the song for you. "One Man Guy" was actually originally written and performed by Rufus Wainwright's father (Loudon Wainwright III), but this version feels like it captures the song's essence better.

5. Neko Case - "Thanks a Lot"

Thanks, thanks a lot/I got a broken heart/that's all I've got

Drenched in sarcasm and bitterness, "Thanks a Lot" is a break-up song that manages to remain light-hearted and funny, all while simultaneously capturing a sense of real heartache.

4. The Old 97's - "Valentine"

Bad thoughts I had/ When Valentines were due

It seems as if almost any Old 97's song could have made the list, but "Valentine" focuses specifically on its namesake, and thus earns a spot on this list. "Valentine" is low-key and absolutely heartbreaking, but it still manages to keep enough levity to prevent it from becoming maudlin.

3. The Byrds - "I'll Feel a Whole Lot Better (When You're Gone)"

I'm not gonna play your games any more

This song ranks so high on the list of anti-Valentine's songs because it is simple and direct. What could fit in better with an anti-Valentine's playlist than a song that declares it's title with bracing honesty and wit? There is no hidden message in these lyrics, just a strong desire to get out of a relationship full of head games.

2 &1 (tie). Bob Dylan - "Idiot Wind" and "Positively 4^th Street"

You're an idiot, babe/it's a wonder you can even feed yourself (Idiot Wind)

I know you're dissatisfied with your position and your place/ Don't you understand it's not my problem? (Positively 4^th Street)

No one insults better in song than Bob Dylan, which is why he comes in at both number one and number two on this list. "Idiot Wind" contains one hyperbolic insult after another, becoming absolutely hilarious in the process. This song perfectly capture the urge of the recently dumped to run the former paramour through the mud.

"Positively 4^th Street" is less openly vicious (though only by a little bit), but still retains more than its share of bite. This anti-Valentine's song is all about the awkwardness of remaining in the same social circles after a break-up. Like "Idiot Wind," this song is bitter and nasty, and really, really funny.