Anxiety, Depression and a Southern Woman

As a Southern woman I was raised to think that I was exempt from anxiety and depression; each happened to other folks. I was strong and capable and could handle anything that came my way. After some significant life changes: the birth of a child, a break up, purchasing a home, a parent's illness, and custody issues; I was a great candidate for anxiety, depression, and more. Although I said I was fine when asked; I knew there were days when getting out of bed took tremendous effort. Instead of facing my feelings, I masked worry and sadness with a cheerful smile.

Still, the inability to stop negative thoughts, withdrawal from friends, difficulty in falling asleep and remaining asleep, and tears that fell easily, gradually consumed my upbeat attitude. Friends did not understand why I stopped returning calls. Some wondered why I could not settle on a hairstyle or why I stopped wearing the fun jewelry that I loved. The sexy shoes and clothes disappeared. I started to withdraw from my life. I pretended that I was too busy or too focused on more important things.

Then one day the anxiety came to a head. I found myself wandering through a local store feeling as if I were walking through water. Everything was in slow motion. I was relieved to get to the checkout line. Suddenly my world seemed to narrow. I felt as if a part of me was at the end of a long tunnel and the other part of me was struggling to catch up. Sound and light were compressed. My heart rate and breathing escalated. I wanted to run from the store. I was scared and did not know the source of the fear. I hung on to the cart until the feelings passed. When I finally got to my car, I knew that I needed help. It was a struggle to get past lifelong hang-ups but the steps I took then are paying off now. The five important steps that I took to change my life were: I went to a licensed therapist, took recommended medication, focused on the positive as much as possible, turned to a higher power, and started to exercise.

My steps might not work for everyone. It is important for each of us to find what works. Too much depends on this to give up if the first attempt at change fails. For example, I switched therapist and found a person with whom I could really connect. Today my life while not perfect; is much better. Some days can still be difficult. Life keeps happening and I keep managing to deal with what it brings. By the way, I kept my Strong Southern Woman Card.